Chapter 21

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Dear Alma

This is my fifth attempt at writing this letter. I keep messing things up by writing the wrong things or my mind just goes completely blank. 

I'm going to miss you. I'm going to miss your laugh, your smile, your light. I'm going to miss seeing you at meal times, and hearing your complaints about the soldiers you're training or the bland food or both. I'm going to miss you coming down to Special Weaponry to look at the designs we've been working on. I'm going to miss the way your eyes light up when you go over each meeting in Command with me. I'm going to miss the smile plastered on your face when you come up with an idea.  I'm going to miss the sneaking away, the aimless wandering through the layers of District 13, the card games our free time. I'm going to miss the moments we had together. 

One by one, through the passage of time, I'm going to forget them. I'm going to forget that phrase you said at dinner which made us all laugh or the sentence you whispered to me in the woods. I'm going to forget the sound of your footsteps and the sound of your laugh. I'm going to forget all the things we thought were so trivial. But I'll never forget you

I don't know if I'll see you again but wherever your journey takes you, I know you'll be leading the dreams in your heart, rather than the fears in your mind. 

If you've found this letter, you've probably found the wooden box. Inside is a bracelet, promising that there will always be someone looking out for you, promising that you'll never have to face things alone. 

I know you don't want a big, emotional goodbye from us. I know you'll sneak out when it's still dark before I can set things right. If I could take back that argument with you that dinner, I would. I wish I never walked away, I wish I stayed with you and wiped the tears from your cheeks. I hate the way I ended our euphoria with feelings of bitterness and regret. I'm sorry, Alma. 

Things won't be the same around here. There will be an empty seat where you used to sit, there will be an emptiness in the space you used to fill, there will be a silence where your voice could be heard. 

I know it's for the best. I just wish it didn't have to be this way.

Good luck in everything you go on to do, 

Edel

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