Love... or something like it

Part 15

Felling the familiar sting of those words Nell Changed out of her Gi and set out into the night to make her way home. She was not going to be 'too much' for Charles and have him leave her. She thought about Bash for the first time in days. Maybe she had been too much for him. She knew that he had helped her through some tough times over the summer but she wondered if it all had gotten to him and he really just wanted something easy. She was almost at the two week mark from when she heard that he had decided not to be with her. 'I don't want us' was how he had phrased it. The words burned into her skull. it was a weird turn of phrase, but then again they had met at a writing program. maybe he was trying to leave her with a softer impression? or maybe he just wanted to make it so perfectly clear that she couldn't misinterpret his intention. 

The wind picked up and Nell was not dressed for the weather. She had stayed after school to work in the library and then walked over to the dojo in the afternoon light. It was a decently far walk, but as a runner, she actually enjoyed the exercise. She hadn't been expecting to be leaving so late and it had never occurred to her that she would have to walk home. t her ear buds in and put on one of her favorite work out mixes and quickened her pace. It was awkward to jog in jeans with a back pack, but she had decided it was her old option. 

She hummed along with the songs and tried not to think about how far she had to go in the dark. She decided that she would take a detour down the road by the revine so she would have a shorter walk even if that meant leaving the safety of the lit sidewalks. Her town had never had missing person's case or a murder so she figured that she was pretty safe. 

The revine road had a steep hill on one side and the drop to the ravine floor on the other. She had tried to walk on the hill side but found herself pushed out onto the road on blind curves. She knew that was incredibly dangerous in the best of circumstances, so she crossed the road to the ravine side where she was more likely to be seen and avoided. The cold air snapped at her exposed skin and she pulled her hood up over her hair to protect her ears and neck as best she could. Her hands were cold so she shoved them into her pockets. Her nose was begining to run so she had to wipe it on her sleeve periodically. Her jeans and hoodie ensable was definitely not the best choisse for a dark cold walk through the streets but she was extra glad that she had decided against the babydoll dress with the tights she had thought about that morning. 

As she walked she clenched and unclenched her fists trying to keep the blood flowing and reatain some of the heat. She could see little curls of fog escape her mouth with every breath. She thought of the photograph Bash had shown her of his Jamaican grandfather smoking a pipe. Bash had taken pictures of the curls of smoke around the old hand wittled pipe and the old man's hands cradleing it ever so gently. She knew Bash was talented the moment she had laid eyes on his work. The first article they had written for their program had made Nell feel like she had a secret key into his mind. The way the words painted such elaborite pictures made her heart sing.  She knew that first week that he was someone special. She still felt that way. She really thought about it, now that her heart had some time to mend. He was an absolutely incredible person. She was better for have known him. A gust of wind whirled around her making her shiver and huddle herself a little bit more. She woudln't make this mistake again, well, no garuntees but she promised herself to try to remember how miserable she felt. 

The road had seemed so short when ever she had been in her mom's car or Charles' truck. Walking made it seem like very step made the road stretch out just that mnuch further. She was damp and cold but she was strong so she pushed on. She was so mad at herself that her thoughts had pushed reality so far from her conscious thought that when she found herself launched into the ravine, it felt unreal. She was floating on the air, no, wait, she was flying through the air. The sudden shock made time slow down and she turned to see tail lights on the road illuminating the whole world red. She felt like she was moving at a glacial pace, unable to see what was in front of her she flailed her arms and legs. Time causght up as her hands touched a scratchy sharp branch and her body was launched into a tree truch sending her into a spin and landing hard on the ravine floor.