Love... or something like it

Part 6

After the house was empty of her family, Nell and Bash sat on her bed staring at one another both afraid to speak. 

Nell worried that if she spoke first she would somehow convince him to break up with her or that she would find words falling out of her brain through her mouth and she might say something she could never recover from. She felt awkward and the feeling made her skin feel like it was made out of a colony of ants. Bash sat looking at his hands and then looking at her waiting for an opportunity to speak or for the time to feel right. 

"I um, I..." Nell stammered uncomfortably before sighing and feeling like tears were caught in her throat. 

"Ok, I guess we need to talk more?" He said sounding just as low. Nell nodded and they both lapsed back into the uncomfortable silence. 

"Ugh! I hate this!" The filter malfunctioned and the build up of words spilled from her mouth and she was powerless to stop it. "You HAVE to believe me that I love you. I mean we have been together for like four? months now? It is so hard being home though. I miss you being across the yard and spending like all day with you every day! Remember how easy it was? Remember how everything was on our side? I HATE that you are far and our lives are divided into you and me and then us. That is stupid and hard and I don't like it! I want you on my balcony every night and holding my hand at the breakfast table and like... I don't know... like just no far!" Nell let the words out while looking anywhere but at him directly.

"You think I like being far? I hate it. I miss you all the time. I think about how easy the summer was all the time too. But I don't want to let you go over something like this." He huffed and leaned on his elbow. 

"So then what is happening?" Nell was getting confused, they both felt the same way and it should make things easier, since they agreed.

"Seriously? CHARLES! CHARLES is what is happening!" Bash stood up aggressively and paced her room. 

"What do you mean?" Nell knew or at least she thought she did but she wanted to hear what he was thinking first. 

"I mean, Charles is always around, Charles sees you every morning-" Bash started.

"Not every morning." Nell said half under her breath.

"What? Are you going to try to say that even after last night he wasn't out there waiting for you this morning? That he wasn't alone in the dark with you while I was asleep?" Bash was getting angry.

"We run together, it's not some sort of tawdry affair! He asked me to be his running partner and you KNOW that my therapist said I can't run alone any more! What? are you going to drive here every morning to come for a run before school?" Nell stood up to face him.

"That's not what I meant. Like he is there All the damn time, for like every little thing! When you are bored he is right there offering to come get you, at parties he dotes on you, he asks you to study with him until the middle of the night. He watches shows that will make you want to snuggle up and use him for protection. THOSE ARE BOYFRIEND THINGS!" Bash was yelling and tears made his eyes glisten. 

"Charles is my friend. What if it was Avery or Tessa or Jenna? What if it had been Zaiden even? " Nell mentioned her other friends who Bash knew were loosing touch with Nell, which was hurting her heart. 

"I don't have to worry about them though, none of them kissed you like they were in a romantic comedy! Charles put his tongue in your MOUTH!" Bash balled up his hands into fists as he spoke and looked tense. 

"It was a dare! it was a stupid game! It meant nothing! GJ was just trying to get under your skin." Nell retaliated feeling frustrated. 

"Nell! do you really think that was spontaneous? you think they just went with the flow on that one? Wake up! IT WAS A SET UP! It was planned! GJ was helping his friend make a move on MY girlfriend!" Bash was yelling and making her feel stupid. Was she being naïve? had they planned that? that didn't make sense to her. She shook her head.