Incarnadine | Prequel to "Viridescence"

17

17th October
2005

Seonghwa opens his eyes abruptly as he wakes up from a nightmare. The fear from constantly running away for his life seems to have translated into his dream world too.

As soon as his heart beats slow little by little, it jumps right back up again when Hongjoong's face pops up in front of his own out of nowhere. "You're awake! Good morning, we have a lot to do today," he chirps.

The older boy yawns while sitting up and squints when burning sunlight floods the room after Hongjoong throws the curtains open.

"What are we even doing?" Seonghwa groans, rubbing his eyes sleepily. Hongjoong skips over to the bed again excitedly. "Well, after our training and practice today we're going to look for Jangmi again!" he exclaims.

Although he doesn't contain near the same amount of enthusiasm as Hongjoong does, Seonghwa does feel a little excited to finally leave the house again. The boys haven't been allowed to leave since the incident happened the last time, as Jaehyun has felt too scared of letting the boys get hurt.

They've only been practicing rigorously for the past week, with nothing much else to do. Seonghwa is now fairly skilled with a gun, but only with a target and not a human. Hongjoong uses his past experiences to his advantage with his practice, knowing a bit more about hurting a person.

It took some more arguing with Jaehyun on Hongjoong's side, but he finally got permission to go searching again. This time the boys are to be more careful, with self defence mechanisms prepared also.

The boys train for a few hours and head back to their room after having lunch too.

"I already talked with Jaehyun earlier this morning and he said to pack your gun, just in case. This time we'll have two other guys with us," Hongjoong explains, clearly passionate about finding his sister.

Seonghwa nods and silently shuffles through his very empty wardrobe. Most of the clothes that Jaehyun provided look similar so it's no surprise that a plain black top with black jeans is what he ends up choosing.

Once he's ready, he also slides the gun that was gifted to him by Jaehyun out from under some clothes. He was given it only the day before now that the leader trusts the two boys. Still, it feels unsettling to be holding it. Holding a gun with a bunch of safety gear equipped feels much different than holding the gun in his bare hands in his bedroom.

It feels too dangerous, like the gun could explode. It feels scary, yet at the same time it fits perfectly in his hand. And it's not just the physical shape and size, but controlling a gun feels natural to him now.

This thought alone scares him though. What is he turning into? If he's not careful he could turn into someone like Hongjoong.

"You're not thinking of escaping again, are you?" Hongjoong's quiet voice speaks into Seonghwa's ear. He nearly jumps and tucks his gun away into his pocket quickly. "Of course not! Not again," Seonghwa admits, knowing it's not the right time to escape for once.

Although escaping would be easy today, Seonghwa has started to hesitate a bit more ever since that night from over a week ago.

"You won't leave me, will you?"

His heart clenches as he recalls Hongjoong's tone of voice. He hates himself for sympathising with the boy he needs to despise, but perhaps the pain hidden deep behind Hongjoong's persona proves that he's more complex than he may seem. He's not just some heartless creature, he's a wounded child who has been scarred too many times.

But Seonghwa genuinely can't tell if it's even possible to bring the child back to how he should be. But he knows one thing for certain. If he leaves Hongjoong right now, not only will he earn himself a place onto Hongjoong's hit list, but he will also add another horrid scar onto the already tainted boy.