Shadow of Angmar

Chapter 19

What Lord Celeborn wanted was not to interrogate his guest but to offer her a place where she could feel free to express herself, especially knowing how many contrasting emotions she hid. They walked back to the gardens and to his joy, he found that Mistril was less tense than when she arrived. Of course, she did not ask anything about the brothers and their business in Lothlorien considering it was not her right to know. But her coming to his land was already a step forward towards regaining her light.

"Do you enjoy your time here, Mistril?" Lord Celeborn asked softly.

There was no real place he wanted to take her to (like Galadriel did) but he did want to make her feel like she could run if she needed to. Mistril was not an elleth that could be confined, one of the reasons she probably traveled so much in the past.

"I had the pleasure of visiting all remaining lands of elves and each is different and special in its own way. Lothlorien is truly magical. I can see why Arwen enjoys her stay here." she answered not really giving an answer. Lord Celeborn chuckled at her evasion and stopped.

"But it's not home, is it? No place will ever feel like home." He said understanding her feelings. "I have to recognize I am curious. Not about your years as captive but your years as a free elleth."

"In Gondolin?" She asked thinking she had to give him the same story she gave Elrond.

"No. I'm sure those years were the happiest but I am more curious about your travels as the Shadow. Rumors spoke of an assassin of elvish origins, who took any quest that brought gold and food, but there must be more to it."

Celeborn watched as Mistril looked down at her feet with a heavy heart. She was aware that men have created many tales about her, mostly because she didn't know how to live an honest life after all the creatures she killed. But it never seemed to sting as much as it did now.

"I tried to escape and go as far as possible, but not even then have I felt it was enough. I felt like I should keep away from Mordor, but it was so deeply embedded in my soul that it was almost impossible to free myself. I prayed every day for the Valar to take me, and when it finally happened, they sent me back." she said, her light flickering as she remembered how they decided to punish her instead of taking pity on her.

"Was there any place in particular that made you feel at ease?" Celebron asked seeing how Mistril's hidden anger was surfacing.

"Yes," she replied and suddenly felt this calming emotion fall over her darkness. "I got lost once and discovered the most beautiful place in Middle earth. The Shire..."

The way her eyes sparkled was a clear sign of how fond she was of that land. It looked like her whole demeanor changed as if she suddenly became younger.

"The hobbits welcomed you?" He asked curiously.

"Yes. There was the Took family, very joyful fellows. They invited me in their little hobbit hole and told me stories, asked me so many things...it was the first time I felt safe in a long time."

Seeing how she was reminiscing such happy moments of her life, Celeborn decided to grow bolder and ask her details about her stay with the wood elves.

"What about Greenwood? Why did you run into the forest when you knew goblins were following you?" He asked in such a way that did not feel like judgment but pure interest.

She gave a long sigh and turned to look into the elder's eyes. For a second she almost seemed guilty but it faded instantly.

"I did not plan my stay there, at least not under the circumstances it happened. But the Elvenking saw right through me, he was right to doubt my intentions. He figured it out before I remembered but Glorfindel's arrival probably confused him." She stopped and took a long look around before she turned her eyes on Celeborn. "Darkness fills my body and soul and he felt it. He was right all along and yet he still let me live there for a while because Legolas took an interest in me."