Chapter 54: Looking (Lauren's POV)

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        Running away was turning out to be as bad as staying in Los Angeles. I had called my mom back shortly after I checked into the cheapest hotel room available, telling her I couldn't afford a plane ticket out right now, but tried to comfort her by saying I'd definitely be home for the holidays this year. It wasn't as soon as she would have liked, but after a few minutes, she gave into it, making me promise multiple times that I wouldn't change my mind.

        After I hung up with her, I silenced my phone, and slipped it into my pocket, leaving the room to travel pointlessly around town. I was back now, looking around the room as the sun was setting, darkening the room. It was small, even smaller than my apartment, with a bathroom that barely had enough room to move around in. As clean as everything looked, it still seemed disgusting.

        I sat on the edge of the single bed, playing with my phone in my hands while staring at the black screen of the small television. I honestly had no idea what I was doing.

        Looking down, I realized that in my haste to get out of my apartment, I hadn't even changed out of the clothes I'd worn to bed last night, and I'd been driving around in them all day, too preoccupied to pay attention.

        I reached down to my suitcase, opening it to dig through for some clean clothes. I pulled the first pair of shorts and t-shirt I saw, dropping them onto the bed. I changed into the clothes, pulling on the shorts and tank top before reaching for the t-shirt.

        I grabbed it, holding it up to see what was on the front. I looked at it, not recognizing the shirt as mine, but it didn't take long to remember who the "DRAMA BEATS" shirt belonged to.

        Zack had worn it the first day I watched them in the recording studio, and one day when I was at his apartment, I'd spilt my drink on my shirt. He offered to take it and wash it for me, putting stain remover on it after I'd given it to him so it wouldn't stain. He gave me the t-shirt to wear for the rest of the day, and I'd eventually forgotten to get my own shirt back and give him his.        

         I sighed, folding the shirt back up and dropping it on top of the packed clothes, reaching for another t-shirt and slipping it on as I noticed my phone light up on the bed. I pulled my shirt down, reaching for my phone with one hand as I pulled my hair out from under the t-shirt with my other hand.

        It was Stella again. The call ended as I grabbed the phone, too late to answer evevn if I wanted to. I noticed, however, that along with that one missed call, I had quiet a few other ones, along with a small number of text messages.

        I scrolled through the few texts firsts, seeing they were from Stella. She wanted to know where I was. The missed phone calls were from her, and one fron Craig from an hour or so ago. I wanted to call him back when I saw his name, knowing that it meant we could talk, and maybe he would come back to the apartment, but as I went to call his phone, I had another incoming call from Stella.

        I answered the phone, holding it to my ear to hear her voice before I could even say anything. "Oh, finally," she sighed, voice full of relief. "Where are you Lauren?"

        "I'm in Santa Barbara," I answered softly, trying not to imagine the look on her face when she realized I was doing it again. I heard her sigh, but I couldn't tell if it was relief or disappointment.

        "Santa Barbara, why?" she wondered, although I knew she knew why. She just wanted to hear it come from me.

        "I just couldn't take it anymore, Stell," I muttered, dropping down to sit on the floor. I leaned my head back against the edge of the bed, staring at the ceiling. "Everything about being in the apartment, and being alone, it was killing me. I just wanted to get away for a while."

        "Laur, you know running away never helped anything," She said softly. I squeezed my eyes shut, swallowing hard.

        "I know, I just didn't know what else to do," I choked out. I was so stupid, I shouldn't have left again. It was like I just couldn't do anything right. I kept making mistakes, messing people up.

        "Okay, where are you? What hotel are you staying at?" she asked, and I rattled off the name of the place, along with my room number.

        "Alright, just don't go anywhere else okay? Please?" she asked, rustling around with something on her end of the phone. I imagined her grabbing her bag and keys, heading out to drive to where I was. I wondered if she would tell anybody I was here, if she would tell Zack, if he cared.

        "I won't," I muttered, listening to her muffled voice. She must have pulled the phone away from her mouth, but I could still hear her slightly, I just couldn't tell what she was saying. I heard Santa Barbara, and the name of the hotel I was in, but after that, nothing else, just noise.

        "Stell, who're you talking to?" I wondered, and the noise on the other end stopped.

        "No one, I was just telling Alex where I was going," She said easily, but part of me didn't want to believe her. "I'll see you later." She added quickly, and then the phone went dead. I pulled it away from my ear, stopping the call on my end. I took my phone off silent, turning it slowly in my hand as I stared at the ceiling.

        The voices on the other end might have been hard to understand, but along with Stella's voice, there were two others. One was Alex's, I'd assumed, but there was another one. The stupid, hopeful part of me wanted to think it was Zack, and that he wanted to know where I'd gone, but how would he have known I'd left in the first place? How would Stella have known?

        My phone ringing again in my hand broke into my thoughts and I looked down at the screen, surprised to see Craig's name light up. I answered it, bringing the phone slowly to my ear againt to hear Craig's voice. "Lauren, where the hell are you?" he asked, not even bothering to say hello. "Were you working today?"

        "Why do you even care, Craig?" I asked dispassionately, wondering why he cared all of a sudden, why he sounded concerned. The fact that he knew I wasn't home, meant he'd gone back to the apartment. I didn't know if I was happy I wasn't there, or if I was more upset that I'd run away just in time for him to decide he wanted to come back.

        "Somebody came by looking for you today," he said bitterly, the same resentment back in his voice again. I didn't have to ask to know who it was.

        "What did he want? What did he say?" I asked quietly, heart speeding up.        

        "He was just looking for you; he had one of your shirts with him or something. He was in a rush, like it was so damn important he saw you today," Craig answered, surprising me with how much he was speaking about Zack.

        I ran a hand through my hair, pulling at it as I raked my hand through. He had gone to the apartment looking for me, only to find that I'd runa way again. I only felt more stupid, and I could only hope that I hadn't just ruined another chance he was willing to give me.

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