Flashbacks

1940s

Sleep seemed to come easier now. I could still hear the TV in the background but soon it turned to busy traffic sounds.

I looked around and found myself in an older military uniform but with a skirt instead of pants. Everyone was hustling to a big event. This building was lit up so bright and I felt someone grab my hand.

"Come on Y/N! We're gonna miss your brother's new car. He's been telling me all about it. Plus I have someone I want you to meet." She dragged me into the vary crowded building and straight to the stage.

Howard was already out and talking about his latest invention. I felt a small hand tap my shoulder. I turn to see a small man and a man in uniform. I tug at Peggy's jacket.

"Oh! Hi boys! Y/N the one in uniform is James Barnes but we call him Bucky. The smaller one is Steve. He is our new recruit. You'll help me keep an eye on him during his training." Bucky shook my hand very firmly. The other one seemed too shy to say hi.

"It's nice to meet you both. I'm Y/N Stark, Howard's twin. Steve, you must be the one Peggy and our scientist friend have told me so much about. He seems to favor you the most for the trials." He blushed and Bucky seemed to chuckle.

The next few days were filled with Peggy and I helping Steve as best we could. He really was different from all the other men. Bucky had already shipped out. I will admit that he was good looking.

Then Steve was shoved in that god awful machine. I trusted my brother but the scientist started to worry me. Steve would scream but they wouldn't stop. He insisted he was okay but his screams seemed to tell a different story.

Then smoke came from the machine. He definitely looked like a whole new man. He was taller and fit. Like very fit. He was no longer the scrawny kid.

I remember all the shows they forced him to do. They insisted each show helped the army. I could tell my friend wanted nothing more than to actually serve in the war. He wanted to be on the front lines.

He finally got his chance. Peggy and I were watching his show but the men only seemed interested in the show girls. No one cared for Captain America because he wasn't really out there with them.

When Steve got word of Bucky's possible death, we were off. Howard, Peggy and I took him to the last location. The next thing we knew, we were getting a lecture on how we were responsible for Captain America's death.

Men started cheering. We ran out of our tent to see the missing men including Cap and Bucky. Peggy ran to Steve and I hugged Bucky. Much to my surprise but I was just excited that he was okay.

Peggy started to spend more time with Steve once we were back in Brooklyn. I was too shy to tell Bucky how I felt. Till one night Peggy dragged me to a bar. She wore her stunning red dress and put me in a blue one just like it.

As she talked with Steve, I talked with Bucky. That night started it all. Every moment Bucky was free, I was with him. Against the norms for our time, we spent many nights together. We knew we had to make every moment count because the army never made many promises.

He would take me on picnic dates and show me his favorite restaurant. We ate ice cream and watched movies. He was a true gentleman. I fell madly in love with this man. By the way he looked at me, I could tell he had too.

Then the sickness hit. I had constant headaches and blurry vision. Howard found his way to get me on an experimental treatment. My vision no longer got blurry but my head still hurt most of the day.

The longer I took the medication, the more my symptoms changed. After a month, my head felt better. But I now became nauseous at random times. My vision no longer blurred but I would forget every little detail. I would lose things like my hair brush even if I just sat it down.

Bucky helped me all he could. He was patient with me and my changing symptoms. He made me tea and cold rags for my head aches and vision issues. He would stay up or stop what he was doing if I got sick to the point of vomiting. He would help me find things I forgot and calm me when I had breakdowns from the stress of the changes.

Steve and Bucky finally got their wish of fighting together. Peggy and I both prayed for them. We got letters and words from their friends if they were sent home.

Steve returned one day but no Bucky. He held me while I sobbed. Howard was so worried about the emotional pain I felt along with the experimental medication. I was so depressed that I would lock myself in my room for days. Howard would have to pull me out of there just to bathe me and feed me.

Peggy and Steve would stop by which boosted my spirits. After sometimes, I went back to work with Peggy. Sadly, on the day she lost Steve. I saw her pain and felt more of my own. My friend and lover were gone.

I had lost it. I was tired of feeling this pain. Something snapped and I took off in one of Howard's new planes. This one was designed to fly longer and be able to track other planes. I went searching for Steve because I couldn't let Peggy feel the same pain I felt everyday after Bucky.

Then the snow came. I couldn't see anything. I tried to land somewhere safe but clipped an ice cap. I crashed into the shore right off the water.  I felt the fuel start to leak into my small space. I was breathing it in and suddenly passed out. My head hurt like it had before the medicine. My vision was blurry.

I woke up in a room like my own but different. Clothes I had never seen before were scattered on the floor. I tried to move but my head stopped me. I got scared and started to glow. This scared me more.

Soon agents came into my room to calm me down. I had grown to know these agents over time. Fury became my good friend.

Then I woke up. I looked at Steve and the clock next to the bed. It read five in the morning. I slowly moved out of bed and went downstairs to the treadmill. My leg was still hurting so I did a slow walk to think about my latest dream.

After an hour Steve found me and carried me back to bed. He fixed me some breakfast and watched movies with me. I had to tell him about my dream but I wasn't sure if now was the best time.

We spent the rest of the day watching Criminal Minds. This is how we spent most days after my recovery. We would slowly add in training but Steve would force me to stop if he thought I was in any kind of discomfort.