Flashbacks

Training

"You know you don't have to work so hard. I know you want the information Steve has but if you push too much you'll hurt yourself." Strange knew my limits and so did it. We were stuck in this weird dimension where everything was spinning and moving.

"I know. I just have to go a little further to prove that I am trying. I have to unlock my own memories some how." I was so frustrated that I've been doing the same training over and over for two weeks and still no memories. Steve hasn't told me anything new. He wants me to "make my own memories."

We finished up for the day and Strange went on his marry way. I went on my marry way to the training room. I was pissed at myself. I wrapped my wrist and hands so I could start on the punching bag.

*hit* I just want memories. *hit* ice *hit* pain *hit* lose *hit* I JUST WANT IT BACK. *hit* *HIT* *HIT*

Then it happened. Snow. I remembered snow. I remember the call over the radio of Bucky falling off that train. I remember Steve being damaged and the pain I felt emotionally which seemed to become physical. I remember hearing Steve talk to Peggy before going down in the ice. Even more pain. Then I remember Howard trying to stop me. I was determined to save Steve. To save Bucky. To save whatever we were. Friends? Relationship?

I remember the flying lessons that Howard used to teach me. I remember Peggy being my childhood best friend. Then I remember being in the air and my plane freezing up. Engines were failing and I was going down. Then ice.

I was on the ground gasping for air and sobbing. Steve had me in his arms when my vision came back. My head was spinning and all I could do was sob. I just curled into Steve and sobbed. All that pain was coming back.

After what felt like an hour, I ran out of tears but the pain was still there. I turned to Steve and he was still running his fingers in my hair to calm me down. He looked concerned. My the time on the clock it was almost midnight. I've been down here for six hours and it only felt like thirty minutes.

"Steve, what were we? I know Peggy was my best friend. I know you loved her. I know that Howard and I were friends. I know we lost Bucky, then you. I went looking for you and crashed. What is going on? I hurt. All that pain is crashing back." He wiped the rest of the tears off my cheeks. He sighed and I knew he was about to tell me what I needed. I felt pain but still lost. I have no clue who I am.

"Y/N Stark. You and Howard were more than friends. You were twins. You helped with all his inventions. That's how we met. You were close to Peggy and helped her when I went through those courses to be a super soldier. Peggy and you have always been friends. I loved you both actually. But Bucky loved you more than I did. So that's why I chose Peggy." I sat there just in true shock. Not only was I from his time but I had a brother which meant.....

"Oh oh oh my god! I'm Steve's aunt!? You haven't told anyone? Why? Does Furry know?" I moved out of his arms. He had sex with me knowing his friend was out their fighting his own personal Demond's right now. I mean he was great and has been there for me. No this isn't happening.

I went to get myself up but my whole hand was throbbing. I tried pushing myself up again but the pain was worse the second time. Steve helped me up but I quickly got out of his grip.

"You slept with me when you're best friend is struggling. You said he loved me. You slept with someone he loved? Have you even told Tony?" I was pissed and so confused. I barely know who I am.

"Look, Y/N, I love you too. It's always been us fighting for you. You knew Bucky when he first deployed. You always had an eye for him because I was the weak, sickly kid. You never saw me past that even like this. I love you unconditionally but you never did. I wasn't going to tell Tony because that isn't my place, that's yours." I started tearing up again. I didn't know how to feel. I knew I cared very deeply for Steve.

He helped me to the lab where we found Bruce. After a few X-rays and tests, my hand is just severely jammed but not broken. My wrist is already swollen. I can barely move it. Jarvis showed me that I had punched my way through all of those memories till I collapsed and apparently screamed. That must have been how Steve found me on the ground.

After he wrapped me up, I found my way to Tony's office. I had to tell him. I wanted a family and to know who I was. I think I finally found that. I found my way to his door and second guessed myself. Till Pepper came up behind me.

"Steve was worried about you. He told me everything. You don't have to tell him now if you aren't ready. He will understand. It's a lot for you all at once. He can wait if he needs to." Pepper was always like the mom of us. She was sweet to everyone and always knew what to say. Weird because she's my niece in law I think.

"I want to tell him. I finally found my family and who I am. I want this. I just hope he's okay with it." She gave me a soft smile then a hug. She walked off and I softly knocked on the door. I heard his say come in and I did.

"Tony we need to talk. I have something important.."

"I know. I've known. I have an old picture of my grandpa. When I first saw you, you looked so much like his twin sister that I had to find that picture. It is you, isn't it?" He showed me an old picture in a dusty frame. It was me. I was there with him and Peggy was in the background. We were in his plane, the one from my memories.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I started to tear up and he got up from his desk. He came over and gave me a big hug. He let out a small chuckle.

"What? Tell the new girl with no memories, who is younger than me: 'Hey you're my aunt. You and my grandpa were twins!' Yeah no. That probably would have scared you. I told Nick what I thought but he wanted you to remember before I acted on anything. He had a good point so I agreed to stay quiet." We both smiled. It was kinda weird but he was a great guy. It's nice to know that I have a family and a past.

"Can we ignore the aunt thing? You do treat me more like a younger sibling. Might be nice to have a brother again? I mean I obviously am not older than you well not really." He chuckled and nodded his head. We hugged once again and then he noticed my hand.

"What the bell happened to you? I swear if it was Steve again I'm gonna kill him." I giggled and just wives him off.

"When I got some of my memories back, I was in training. I was pushing myself too hard on the bag and I guess I hurt it in my memory state. Jarvis has the video if you'd like to watch?" He shook his head. He kissed my forehead and went back to his desk.

I walked back out and called in bed. We were all too awake for it to be almost one in the morning. Tony always worked late but everyone else seemed to be up later than normal. I soon drifted to sleep. Sleep turned into nightmares about freezing and losing everyone over and over again. I woke up to Steve shaking me.

"It's okay. Just wake up. You're okay. Oh good. Y/n, you were screaming. I think you woke up the whole building." I looked past him to see Tony, Nat, and Wanda in the doorway. I waved weakly and Wanda waved back.

"I'm okay. It's just the same memories over and over. That pain I told you about, yeah it's still here. I feel it worse and worse each time."

"I'm what pain?" Tony seemed very confused and so did everyone else.

"So long story short. I am Tony's great aunt and twin sister of Howard Stark. I was Peggy Carter's best friend and knew both Bucky and Steve. Bucky fell off the train, Steve crashed in ice, and I went looking for both. I crashed too." Nat and Wanda looked shocked. They turned to Tony who nodded.

"So you're a Stark?" I nodded at Nat. They both got out of the doorway and Tony soon followed close behind when Steve waved him off. I could hear them talking before Steve closed the door.

"I'm so sorry for what I did. I should have told you and I certainly shouldn't have taken advantage of you like"

I kissed him, cutting him off. He pulled away shocked by the sudden kiss.

"Look, I have feelings for you. I've been attached to you both since I got here. You didn't do anything wrong. Now kiss me back or leave. Your choice."

His slammed his lips into mine harder than I was expecting. It pushed us both over. After a very lovely two hours, I was aging on his chest listening to his heart beat. He was playing with my hair. I soon drifted off to sleep but this time without the screaming and pain.