Liberosis

Chapter 17

Songs to listen to while reading:

Don't Let It Break Your Heart – Louis Tomlinson

Fresh Pair Of Eyes – Brooke Waggoner

Close To You – Rihanna

All of these songs are really perfect for this chapter so if you would listen to then, that would be greatly appreciated :)

It's been a long four days since... the thing with Liam happened. I've just been pretending that it never happened. I won't let myself cry any more than what I did on the night that it happened. It could have been worse, other people have been through worse so I don't deserve to feel sad for myself.

If I don't think about it, it's like it never happened... right?

I haven't seen Harry much; he's been going to work a lot more along with coming back to the house with blood on his body and clothes. I don't even want to think of the reasons for why he comes back to the house in the state that he does. He just walks into the house and goes straight to his room; he won't even look at me.

Why is it always my fault?

The night after the party at Niall's house, Harry came back with busted knuckles and blood smeared on his face. I tried to ask him about what happened but all he mumbled was that 'the Liam situation has been handled', whatever the fuck that means...

I don't know how to feel about Harry at the moment. It's either really good between us or it's disastrous. We're either laughing and playing around or we're fighting and screaming at each other. He can be so sweet and soft but sometimes he just turns and I don't know who he is when he does.

I'm currently walking around the back garden since it's been a really nice day today. The sun is out, warming my back and the birds are having secret little conversations to each other. I decided to go for a walk so that I can watch the sun set.

I feel homesick for a home that I've never had. I feel homesick for the home that I wish I had. I miss Caleb... I wonder what he's doing right now.

Is this my life now? How am I supposed to just live in Harry's house like this? Surely, one day Harry will get sick of me and just... let me go? He won't kill me... right? Oh god, I can't think about this shit without feeling anxious.

I start making my way back to the house, walking through the sliding doors and into the lounge area. Maybe I'll make a tea... Angela got me some mint green tea to try so I'll have one of those. She could tell that I wasn't okay when she came to visit two days ago so she stopped by yesterday to drop the tea off saying that 'she thought of me when she saw it'. The thought of trying to use her to escape has crossed my mind since she's one of the only people I come in contact with. But then I came to the realisation that she's one of the main gang leaders' wives and no matter how nice she is, I'm not going to risk it...

I notice a piece of paper placed on the glass table as I enter the kitchen.