Part 1: Mindless Mistakes.

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this first chap is sorta an intro to mc and not based on canon events so feel free to skip 

(Dimitrescu is in chap 2 onwards, Heisenburg is in chap 10 too. <3

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Now, this had become a problem. Mother always advised me to never walk on ice. 

 Why was I ignoring her? Why, after her warnings, did I still continue to cross the frozen riverbank?

I stood still, not moving my feet an inch, slowly looking around for aid.

A strange, hairy beast sat on the ice...Fishing?

Wearing a snowsuit that was as blue as the ice beneath his bottom, some sunglasses, and... a straw hat?

I hesitated for a moment, before calling over.

"Hey, can you help? I'm stuck here!?"

He just looked up, pointing at himself.

"Yes. You,"

He lifted up his fishing line, casting it over so the hook landed at my foot, motioning for me to grab onto it, then yanked me over in a way where it didn't cause me to drown.

"You alright little lamb?"

"Lamb?"

"That's what you are, aren't you? A poor lost lamb who doesn't know what she's getting herself into?"

"I'm human... but I'm lost, so-"

"So, a little lamb you are! What might you be doing here, Miss...?"

"Fiora. Fiora Rede- um, just a question"

"Fire away"

"Where am I, what are you, and... where is everyone else???"

"The Dimitrescu residence. None of your business, and uh, don't look down"

"I mean, where exactly? Like, what town?"

He shrugged.

"Somewhere in paradise,"

"Doesn't look like it. Looks like it's falling apart."

"Yes, and I could just as easily make the icefall apart"

I sighed.

"What happens if I go into the castle there?"

"Depends who finds you first. Most end with you getting drunk from and thrown away like the other lambs that come around here"

"Is there any way I could go in and out without getting drunk from?"

He shook his head.

"Why are you so interested anyway? Out here is just fine for me"

"Because. It's cold. And besides, I've always dreamt of being a princess,"

"Temperature is an opinion. I'm also strictly forbidden from telling you that the back window is always unlocked, yup, can't tell you that."

He winked at me, giving me a playful smile.

"What do I, hypothetically, do if I come across anyone?"

"Do you believe in God?"

"Yes."

"Pray like hell"

"So there's no way for me to protect myself?"

"Unless you grab one of the Lady's display guns and some ammo"

"I should get off this ice. Pull for a second, I should slide,"

"I can do you one better"

He got up, grabbed my hand, and walked me to the shore

"There you are, 'princess', dry land"

I giggled, soon dropping my smile.

"Are they all like you? What should I know?"

"Like me? Ha, they're much worse. And you should know to keep the hell outta dodge. They see you, they won't let up till they recreate Good Friday, with you as Jesus himself"

"Damn. I'm still going in. Who do I avoid?"

"Well, you should be fine with the lady, won't see you from up there she will. But still, avoid every living thing in that damn castle, even the house flies."

I looked over to the guns behind him.

"Can I have one,?"

"No, after the first few lambs I realized they'd either try to shoot me, would lose it in the castle, or die in there. And I don't like giving free stuff to those witches."

"Not even a pistol?"

"...Fine then, only since you asked nicely...and this stupid thing somehow always comes back,"

"Thank you,"

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