all for a dare

25

-george pov-

i rushed towards the stairs and walked up to my room. once i got in i immediately shut and locked my door, knowing carter would try and follow me.

of course, seconds later he was tugging at my door begging to come in. "george, open the damn door."

"no, carter. go away."

"you're going to regret this george, trust me. it's either this or i send you a fucking essay over imessage.

"carter what do you want?!"

"open the door!" he said tugging at it once again.

i walked over to the door as i let out an annoyed sigh. i unlocked it and open the door for him. he quickly walked through the door and immediately shut it.

"carter, what do you-"

"listen george," he interrupted. "i'm trying to help you, okay? if you want to be an idiot, and ignore me, then go do so, okay?"

"carter, i don't know what you're talking about."

"no george, remember earlier when you said 'if you want to hate your bestfriend, then go ahead'?"

"yeah, i do actually. it was like three minutes ago. you're mad at him for something he did to me, i'm not as mad at him as i was before. i forgive him-"

"george will you shut up! exactly, i'm his best friend," he interrupted. "i know things about him that you don't, and will never know. so will you just shut up and listen to me for once?!"

i rolled my eyes as i walked over to my bed and sat down, waiting for carter to continue talking.

"carter, what do you want. i don't care if you still hate him, i don't. i went somewhere and found him crying, we worked things out."

"george, he fucking-"

"carter i don't care if he hurt me! i don't, okay? it's not that easy to hate someone you-" he interrupted me once again.

"george fucking listen to me will you?! clays a fucking lair," he shouted. "this isn't his first time doing this. this has happened multiple times for people. especially with clay!"

"what do you mean?"

"you're not the only person who clay got to fall in love with him!" 

"what?! why didn't you tell me?"

"i fucking tried to! you don't listen. every time i tried telling you you'd interrupted me, or run your ass upstairs. just like now. i tried helping you, since day one. i told you not to hang out with him. i told you it would end badly, but you didn't listen. now look where we are."

"i- how was i supposed to know this?"

"you should've listened to me george," he responded. "and the reason i didn't tell you directly is because i didn't think you guys were that close. i tried stopping it before it even happened."

"no. no, this doesn't make any sense. why does he seem so pissed about what he did. it seemed real? he seemed sorry," i shouted back.

i thought things couldn't get worse, but i was wrong. all of it was fake. my entire relationship with clay was fake. me comforting him when i thought he was sad. everything!

"look george, i'm sorry for not tell you sooner. i didn't know you and clay were that close until the other day. and everytime i tried telling you, you would push my away."

i didn't know what i was feeling. i didn't feel sad. i wasn't angry. i was speechless. i didn't know how to react to this.

carter was right. why did i feel sorry for him? he's the one who keeps continuously hurting me. what am i even sorry for? sorry that he decided to use me? sorry that he wanted to break my heart?

it's stupid. all of this is stupid. if i never went to that fucking party carter wanted me to go to none of this would be happening.

"look. i'm going to go now, and give you some space." he slowly made his way over to the door. he opened and closed it quietly, not like it really mattered. we were screaming at each other three minutes ago.

i looked around for my phone and eventually found it. i tapped the screen so it would turn on, and stared at the screen deciding what to do next.

i clicked on my messages app and went to clays contact. i was obviously going to block him. except i was debating on sending him a text before i did.

i slowly started to type out a message. i didn't really know what i was going to say. i said whatever came to mind.

he's probably going to be confused on why i'm sending him a long ass paragraph then blocking him. i mean, we did just have a 'fun' night stargazing.

i guess the fun didn't last long.

yeah, stargazing was fun. i enjoyed stargazing if i'm being honest. but with all of the things clay keeps doing to me, i don't think i want to be around him anymore.

in all honestly, that sentence sounds like a middle school relationship. but it's true! i don't want to be around clay anymore. all he's doing is hurting me and playing with my emotions. as if i'm some toy to him.

a couple minutes later i finally finished typing out the paragraph and decided to reread it before i sent it. i laughed thinking about his reaction. probably getting excited i texted him after we hung out, just to see i'm blocking him.

once i was finished rereading the message i clicked the send button. a slight smile began to form onto my face.

clay

carter told me about your little secret. yeah, the one how i'm not the only one you did this to? and i thought only the beginning was fake. no, it was all of it. all the stupid apologies you gave me. me actually feeling bad for you, and why? the fact that you hurt me?! and this is what i get in return? i just get played?! fuck you. fuck you clay.

if i'm not the only one then how do i know any of this is actually real? how do i know all of this isn't some stupid game? i think it's best if we both go our separate ways. the only thing we are doing is hurting each other.

i shut my phone off and let out a sigh. i threw my phone to the end of my bed and cupped my hands in my face. i closed my eyes as i let out a long-lasting sigh.

i felt my phone vibrate seconds later, which was probably clay. i forced myself to the end of the bed to pick it up and stared at the notification.

clay
i want to talk about it, please? i'd rather do it in person than over text.

i don't want to here the same excuses as last time, clay.

it's not an excuse george.

it is though, the only thing you're going to tell me is "oh i'm sorry! i don't know what i was thinking. i'm so so so sorry, george! i didn't think i'd actually catch feelings"

george, please? can we meet up.

"fuck you, clay." i spoke aloud as i pressed the block button.