*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Peter: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just want to know.
James: ...I did. I broke it.
Peter: No. No, you didn't. Lily?
Lily: Don't look at me, look at Remus.
Remus: What?! I didn't break it.
Lily: Huh, that's weird. How did you even know it was broken? Huh? EXPLAIN YOURSELF!
Remus: Because it's sitting right in front of us. AND IT'S BROKEN!
Lily: Suspicious.
Remus: No, it's not!
Sirius: If it matters, probably not, but Marlene was the last one to use it.
Marlene: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Sirius: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Marlene: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Sirius!
James: Okay, let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Peter.
Peter: No! Who broke it!?
Sirius: Peter, Lily's been awfully quiet...
Lily: REALLY!?
*Everyone starts arguing*
Peter, writing in his journal: I broke it, I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
*10 minutes later war is happening*
Peter: Good. It was getting a little too chummy around here.
