Bleeding and Nothingness

Inferno

The fire that once laid in my heart
Is now everywhere :
Consuming, threatening.
Those words
Could also apply to your love for me.
All those shadows I naively learned to trust
Are keeping me trapped.

Mum used to tell me
« If you ever feel hopeless,
Look up to the sky
And let God to give you some
Strength back. »
But the clouds are spitting in my face
And still, the fire takes over.
Every drop is lethal
Bitter, ice cold.
Those words
Could also describe the way your hands felt on me.

It's getting dark.
I'm overwhelmed.
Am I dreaming ?
Am I dead ? No.
Not yet.
This feels too real,
The pain is too real.

Surrounded by all this darkness,
Something still manages to give me hope.
Maybe the moon will show me the way out,
Lead me away from this inferno,
Release my soul from the hold you have over me.
Maybe it will be wise,
Forgiving, merciful.
Those words 
Could never characterize you.

It's pitch black now.
How can I still see you ?
You always had that power over me : making you
The only thing I could focus on,
The only thing worth laying my eyes on.

I see you escape from me.
Your entire body vanishes into flames.
« How ? » I wonder.
I can't seem to think fast enough.
I can't seem to think at all !
Smoke is getting to me,
Entering my lungs like bats
Into a lost and never found cave.
That smoke is making me wish I couldn't breathe anymo-

Thank God, it's over now.
Watching you from above,
I finally allow myself to look elsewhere
Than your pretty, two faced face.
From up here,
No one is paying attention to me
And yet I can count each and every one of their breaths.
I understand my mistake.
I thought everyone would stop living to help me.
I thought my friends would stop leaving to hold me.
But just because our world stopped spinning,
Doesn't mean theirs did too.