Starboy

Chapter 18: Ironic

Benji

I wake up at around eleven, and my head already starts pounding. My eyes flash open and I start to remember all of the things from last night. Each word and phrase that Brandy muttered plays on loop.

"I mean seriously... how many girls have you slept with?"

"I want to trust you but..."

I thought I knew what we had, but it's slowly fading away. Did I make a mistake? Was asking Brandy to move in with me a giant, horrible mistake of mine?

When I asked her to move in with me, I swear I didn't expect to fall for her the way that I did. Of course, I had hoped for it, but I didn't plan it.

More importantly, I never wanted anything like this to happen. I never wanted to hurt her or make her feel like she couldn't trust me.

I hear a knock on my door and I sigh lowly, realizing it's Brandy. Who else would it be?

"Benji?" She says on the other side of the door.

I turn onto my side, cuddling my pillow. 

"Benji, please. Can I come in?" She speaks again.

I stay silent for a moment, hoping she will go away. It's not that I hate her now... I just don't know what to say to her.

"Benji, it's late. We have class tomorrow. That's... that's all I came to say. Goodbye." I hear her sigh and the footsteps of her shoes walk away from my door.

I hear the front door open and close, as well as the lock click. I peek open my door to make sure she's really gone before stepping out into the apartment. 

After I eat breakfast, with a small appetite might I add, I hop into the shower. I just know I need a shower to start this morning.

I change quickly and dry my hair with a towel before my phone starts ringing. I pick it up from my bed and look at the caller ID.

It's Shawn.

"Hello?" I say as I flip open my cellphone.

"Hey, buddy. How the fuck are you? My head is killing me right now," he groans, clearly hungover.

"I'm the exact same," I tell him. "But I'm used to it. I have to get to class, Shawn."

"Hold up," he stops me. "Let's just skip today, man. There's no way I'm going to class with a killer ass hangover. Neither should you."

I sigh deeply. "You have no idea how much I don't wanna fucking go to class today. But if I don't go my parents are going to murder my ass. I'm sort of meeting them for dinner tonight." I explain.

"Oh, fuck, man. Good luck," he chuckles. "Hey, how's your girl? What was her name again? It starts with a B..."

"Brandy," I answer after a second of thinking about her. "She's not my girl."

"What?" His voice squeaks. "I totally thought you guys were fucking," he laughs lightly. "You were holding hands, dude."

"I know," I sit down on my bed as I run my hand through my wet hair. "I thought it was..." I trail off. "But it's not."

"Fuck, sorry, man. I know how hard you were going with her." He apologizes.

I shake my head. "Don't be sorry, Shawn. I'll catch up with you later."

I sit through my lecture, each word the professor says goes through one ear and out the other. Somehow, words mean nothing to me right now. All I can do I dwell on my life.