Love or Game (Complete✅)

Chapter 33 - "Prisoners of past..."

Maan Murthy (Manan's son)

I call him with plenty of weird nicknames. Sometimes I even forget that he has a proper name. Maan Murthy. I know it reminds me of his Name too but I can't deny his blood running into my son's body. I have removed every sign of Manik from my life instead of our son but I can't remove his presence from my memories. Maan digs his face in my chest and again utters,

"Mumti mumti hungli (Mumti mumti hungry)

I wobble at his naughtiness and walk to the adjacent room. This is our bedroom. A big bed, a wardrobe and a dressing table are adorning the room. Enough for my temporary stay. I get up on the bed and lie down having him close to my chest. He is my utmost happiness. The sole source of my joy. I don't need anyone to live in this crowded world. Since I have left Mumbai and my past life, I have never turned back to see how are my loved ones living their lives. Sometimes I think if I am behaving selfishly to think only about my peace but then convince myself with the thought, self-love is not selfishness. It's important. Because how we love ourself determines how we teach others to love us. I am happy in my small world...with my son and his smile for me. My eyes drop in deep slumber.

.......................................................

The wall clock strikes at 2 am. Navya takes a turn on the bed and looks at Cabir who is still working on the laptop. The main light is switched off. Only the study lamp on the desk is illuminating the room. Navya glances at the clock and gets up.

"It's 2 o'clock. Don't you ever feel sleepy? Like this, you will fall sick."

She tries to remind her workaholic husband. Cabir doesn't answer. He has to finish this project work within one day. He knows that he is ignoring all the other things in his life but only work can shift his mind from the pain he is bearing in his heart. Getting no reply, Navya comes out of the bed and nears him. After staring at him for a brief moment, she places her palm on his left shoulder.

"Whom are you punishing? Me or yourself?"

Her words compel Cabir to turn at her. Navya's eyes have painful queries.

"Why are you talking like this? Work is not a punishment for me. And as my wife, you should understand that."

Cabir tries to justify himself, however, it fails to convince himself either. Navya comes in front of his face and counters,

"I had understood if you would have worked only for the sake of work. But you don't. You have made your busyness the excuse to avoid reality. If you want to vent out your frustration then I am here to listen to. But please don't make yourself distance from me."

Cabir gets up from the chair and walks towards the open window. The night breeze coming from outside makes his tensed nerves a bit relaxed. He takes out a cigarette from the pocket and lights it.

"I am not distancing myself from you. It's totally your assumption. Since our marriage what duty of a husband I haven't fulfilled...just tell me?"

He flips and utters in a demanding tone. Offence is the best defence. Navya grins palely and answers,

"You have already answered your question. You are just doing your duties. That warmth, that love and emotional closeness are not there, Cabir. I can even feel it when you sleep with me in our bed. That time also you do your duty. Perhaps for that, I haven't become a mother till now. If there is no connection between two souls then only two bodies can't create any magic. I know you think that Nandini has walked away from our life because of my presence in your life. Sometimes I feel you married me to just fulfil your duty. I am an imposed burden in your life. An unwanted duty of yours."

Her voice becomes choked. Cabir saunters at her and holds her from her shoulders. He looks deep into her moist eyes and utters in a grave voice,

"You are not the reason for her leaving but perhaps our love. Our love is cursed, Madhu. Every time we are to lose someone to unite. Manik broke her heart because of me and she left us because of my wrong decision. Neither I had forced her to forgive Manik and start a new life with him nor she would have taken this drastic step to leave us all. I am the culprit, Madhu. I can't make anyone happy."

His words get suppressed under his trembling voice. In the next second, Navya embraces him and hides her face on his chest. That breaks Cabir's compose too. He also hugs her back and sinks his head on the crook of her neck. With light sobs Navya mouths,

"No...not you. I am the one. I...have destroyed all lives. I have ruined Nandini's life, your life and my brother's life. I can't see Manik like this. In these 2 and a half year, he has become a robot. A lifeless soul. He is destroying himself bit by bit. I can't see him dying like this. Everything is happening for me. I am cursed. Not you."

Cabir withdraws his face and looks at her reddish swollen eyes.

"I am sorry, Madhu. I was just thinking about myself and my pain. But I forgot that you are being torn between two relationships. I forgot that my anger for Manik can never lessen your love for your brother. You go to him. Perhaps your presence makes his day a bit better."

Navya gazes at her husband for a while and mouths,

"I wish I would have made all things better in everybody's life. But I won't lose hope for my loved ones. Bhai will come out of this pain and he will forgive himself too."

Cabir osculates her forehead and nods in positive. Sometimes hope is the only thing that lessens our pain.

...................................................

I gulp the remaining liquor from the glass and call my servant Raghu again. He immediately appears in front of me like a jin. I gesture him to fill the glass with more Rum. I am still in my sense and I can't sleep for the entire night if I am in my slightest consciousness. Raghu looks hesitant. He is rubbing his hands in dilemma while frequently glancing at the bottles of alcohol kept in the cupboard. I chid at him,

"Did I call you to see your face? Bring that bottle and fill the glass."

Now, he meeks out,

"But Sir you have already finished one whole bottle. Last week the doctor said if you continue like this then he has to admit you to the nursing home. Manik Sir, try to sleep. It's almost 2 am. If you want, I can massage your feet. It will help you to sleep."

His over concern adds fuel to the fire. I lift the empty glass and throw it to the opposite wall. It smashes in zillion pieces. I shout in desperation,

"Nobody...nobody can make me sleep. Because she has taken all my peace, all happiness away with her. Now, nothing can calm my mind. I just want to lose myself in this poison."

I point to the liquor bottles and add,

"I can't breathe without it. Please give me my breath."

Author's note: Are you all feeling happy to see Manik suffer? Is Cabir right to blame himself? Will Navya be able to unite her family once again? To know all these, stay tuned. Very soon Manan will meet again. 
Media box pic is Salvador city.