Pregnant Pause [H.S]

Chapter 8

Day

As soon as the icy shell cracked around my heart, everything changed. Heat flooded through me, flushing my cheeks and searing my veins. I felt strong again – powered by rage, I felt stronger than ever. And I was angry. Inexplicably, dangerously angry.

"You lied to me!" I boomed from across the room, pointing at Fitz in accusation even though she was the only one there. "More than once! Over and over and over!"

"Muffy asked me not to tell you."

"So what?! Who is she? I'm your boyfriend!"

Fitz tilted her head and gave me a knowing stare, one that implored me to be reasonable.

I was past reason.

"You're loyal to her over me, is that it?"

"Harry, how could you—"

"Why does she get to be put first?!"

"She isn't, Harry. You are. I thought it would be better this way."

"Stop deciding everything without me!" I cried, tugging at my hair in frustration. "Stop deciding what would be best and just tell me what's bloody going on!"

It took everything Fitz had not to flare up and fight with me. Her eyes shone from the struggle as she took a deep breath to calm down and gritted her teeth to force herself from biting back.

"I'm sorry, Harry," she said, though her voice shook with the effort of keeping it even. "I know this kills you. But you should know it wasn't planned. Muffy was terrified when she found out that day. Terrified to tell your father and terrified to tell you."

"I don't care," I spat. "I don't care about any of that."

I took a step back when she took a step forward, warning her not to come any closer. My heart was beating frantically in my chest, hot blood pumping through my veins. All I felt was fury – nothing else.

I'd never felt like that before.

"Yes, you do," she insisted, nodding her head. "I know you do."

I shook my head, unwilling to listen. Nostrils flaring, I cried, "Christ, Fitz. Do you not understand how much you betrayed me?"

"This isn't about me," she was quick to say, rounding the end of the bed. "This is about you and your father."

I didn't listen. Didn't, or couldn't – my pulse was pounding so hard in my ears I could barely hear anything at all.

"How could you do this to me?" I asked, frowning deeply.

Sighing in exasperation, she shrugged her shoulders in helplessness. "I was so scared, Harry." She approached me with caution. "I knew what it would do to you and I wanted to protect you as long as I could."

"Well, you didn't," I snapped, and even I didn't understand why. It was obvious that Fitz was trying as hard as she could not to fire up and unleash on me, but all I had in me was fight. Her gentle tiptoeing was not what I needed. "Now I know and it hurts just the same." The next step she took toward me, I backed away. "You should go."

Indignant, she huffed. "I don't want to."

"I want you to! Go!" I pulled my car keys form my pocket and tossed them to her.

"No!" She set the keys on the dresser and took another step in my direction.

"Don't!" I called, though the word got caught in my throat. I held up a hand to warn her to stop in her tracks. My stomach lurched, and I found myself swallowing back emotion. It was rising in me all at once, causing the anger to recede as something new took over. Something rather foreign that tightened in my chest and thickened in my throat. The anger was chipping away, but I wanted it back.