𝗠𝘆 𝗦𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿⁴ // 𝘑𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘏𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘳

chapter 5

I watched Jaden approach the kids with Mason after Josie and Michael waved at them. He said something making all of them laugh and then he whispered something in Mason's ear before leaving them with all the kids.
Mason nervously looked at Jaden while I could see him start scratching his arms. It's either that they are actually itchy or he is doing it because of his nervousness.
"Look at him."
I said when Jaden sat next to me.
"What? Who?"
"Mason."
"I know, he stayed with them."
"No, no, not that. Look at him scratching his arms."
"So? Maybe they're itchy."
"Or that's what he is doing when he is anxious."
"I don't know."

"Mom mom mom, where's my phone?"
"In the bag, why?"
"I need it quickly."
"Ohoo, you got someone's number?"
He smirked at me before running off.
Few minutes later the girls walked away from them and kids walked back to us.
"They went home."
Josie said when Jaden narrowed his eyebrows at them and made 'What's up' face.
"Can we buy ice cream?"
"Yeah."
"Who'll go with me?"
Jaden said and all of them wanted to go with him.
"M, you wanna stay here with me?"
He nodded his head.
They walked away and I pulled Mason in my chest.
"Why are your arms all red baby?"
I asked running my fingers softly, barely touching his skin.
"I don't know."
"You don't know? I saw you scratching them the whole time almost. Were they itchy?"
"I, uh, y-yeah."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"How come they're not itchy now?"
"I don't know."
"Be honest bub."
"I do that when I'm nervous."
"Okay. When did you start doing that?"
"I don't know, some time ago."
"You do that when you're nervous?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. I know it might be hard but I want you to talk to me. About your feelings. Okay? I'm here and I wanna talk."
"M'kay."
"Any time of the day any day."
He nodded kissing my cheek.
"So, how were those girls?"
"Nice. I just don't like meeting new people."
"I know. I was same. You are boy version of me when I was younger. In any way you wanna look. So I know how are you feeling. That's why I want you to talk to me. Because when I was growing up I didn't have someone to understand me."
"And grandma and grandpa?"
"They were there, but they never really understood me, because we were totally different persons and looked totally different at everything. They were never shy people, not as kids, not as adults. I was always complete opposite from them. And I see myself in you."
"Oh. But you loved them?"
"I still love them. And I always did. It's just that in some things I didn't have someone to relate. But you do, okay?"
He nodded his head.
"Mom, do you think I'm fat?"
Oh God, I knew this would happen. I just hoped he won't be 8 when it starts.
"I don't think you're fat. Why did you ask?"
"I know I'm fat. And I don't like that."
"You're not fat. Maybe you are a little chubby, but you still have few years until puberty. And then everything will change. So you shouldn't worry about your body at all. Okay?"
He nodded his head while I felt his tear go down my chest.
"Why are you crying honey?"
I pulled him on my lap, cupping his face.
"I don't know, I'm sorry."
He quickly wiped away his tears.
"It's okay. You don't need to be sorry."
I hugged him, kissing his head.
"Can we go quickly in the water until they're back?"
"Okay."
I quickly covered the bags with our shirts before getting up.
He ran to water and I walked behind him.

"Ou, it's not that warm here."
I said slowly getting in the water.
He giggled at me.
"Let's go swim to deep momm."
"Tell me when you are tired and we'll go back."

We saw Jaden, Michael and Josie get back with ice-creams so we quickly got out the water.
"Oh, there you guys are. C'mon, they are going to melt."
He handed us ice-creams while we sat down.
After we ate ice-creams and dried ourselves we packed everything and sat in the car.
"Chick-fil-A?"
They all agreed and Jaden drove us to drive through.

"Okay, good night."
I kissed Mason's cheek before closing the doors of his room and finally walking to my and Jaden's. He just got out of shower.
"You know, I was right."
"What do you mean?"
He asked from closet, getting his boxers on.
"Today, when I told you about Mason scratching his arms. I talked to him when you guys got ice-cream. He said he does that when he's nervous. And I talked to him. And then he asked me if I think he is fat."
His face dropped a little.
"That's what I was scared my whole life. Any of my kids getting mental health issues like I did."
"It's not your fault."
I sighed putting my head in my hands.
"Jesus, it at least could've waited for few more years."
"Babe, don't stress. We'll talk to him, we can get through everything. He is still really young, it might change when puberty and all that stuff comes."
"I know, I just- I know how hard is that. Especially having both of your siblings really out going persons, they're skinnier than you and all that. I don't want him, nor any of them going through stuff I went through."
"I know you don't. The situation is still under control and we'll do everything we can and talk to him. To them all actually. You're a great mom. Not just great but the best mom. I think I'm at least fine dad. And I know we will be together and there for all of our kids."
"You're not just fine Jaden, you are the best dad they, or anyone, could've asked for."
I kissed his lips while he smiled at me.
"Okay, but to light up the mood, our twelve year old son got girls number or whatever he did."
"Yeah. I hope he won't be like his dad, fuck boy."
"I'm not a fuck boy."
"Well not since you met me. But before me, what did you do? Hook up with girls every day."
"So what?"
"You don't even know with how many girls you slept."
"Well yeah. But I know with how many you did."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah because I had the special opportunity. So I'm the only one."
I narrowed my eyebrow at him, smirking.
"What is that face supposed to mean?"
I shrugged my shoulders, turning off my lamp and getting underneath covers.
"Lexi. What is that supposed to mean? Am I not the only one?"
I turned on my side, smirking.
"Alex Janet Hossler, don't just turn around."
I turned around to I looked st him.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"What?"
"Is your body count just me?"
I smirked and shook my head.
"Wha- Who? When? We were always together. You- you lost your virginity to me."
"I mean yeah, but we had a lots of break ups though."
"Wh- Why am I finding that out just now? When was it?"
I took a moment to think. I hope he won't get too mad.
"Before we had Mikey."
"What do you mean before him? We were married then?"
"But we broke up, and thought we'd get divorce."
His face dropped while his eyes widened.
Jesus, I'll burn in hell one day.
"You slept with someone then?"
"Yeah. I went out to the club with some of the girls and I met that one guy."
"And you are telling me that just now?"
"Well, it wasn't important. And it still isn't."
"B-But it was just a little time before you were pregnant."
"Oh, yeah. Yeah."
"So wait, you are not telling me that-"
"I mean, not that I really remember what happened back then. I was really drunk."
"Lex, don't tell me that I might not be Michael's dad."
"What? Well we used condoms, I think."
"You think? Are you fucking with me? You are literally the only person I have slept in last sixteen years and you are telling me that you got with someone while we were married and that he might be his father and just now? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"I didn't think it's that important."
"A- I can't believe it. I'm gonna get Michael now and I'm gonna take him to someone to do DNA test."
He got up from the bed, mad, but I jumped up too, standing in front of room doors before him.
"Jaden it's 11pm. Go to sleep."
"No I'm not fucking going to sleep, move from there right now."
"No I won't move."
He was about to try to push me off so he could get out of the room but he turned around and walked away in the room.
"You're so unbelievable."

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A/N Ahh I love this.