The Upside of Falling Back To You

chapter twenty | let's talk about

a/n happy friday! this book updates mondays and fridays now, so if you haven't read the monday update, go do that now!

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ten years ago; august 2020; summer before grade 11

HE SITS ON HIS desk, the sheets of paper pushed aside as he rests his guitar on his thigh and plays. The summer heat and the broken AC in his room forced him to sit there, shirtless. I'm curled up on his bed, listening as he played.

The year was rough, things just weren't the same as grade nine. The number of times that we had to take a step back, the number of times I told myself to give up on us, I could hardly keep track. Still, here we are. And the summer was nothing short of perfect.

"What, you're just going to sit and watch?" Ronan puts the guitar down and jumps onto the bed. I yelp as I move away, trying to avoid him landing on top of me. He still tries to tackle me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close. Luckily there was no one else in his house, I didn't need anyone walking in on us.

"I could listen to you play all day and you know that."

"But I don't want to play all day. I want to do something else."

I sit up. He swings his arm behind his head and rests on it. "What do you want to do? Watch a movie?"

"Hmm... not really. We're going to Cineplex on Friday with Lucas and Parv, right?"

"Yeah, assuming Parv doesn't have work or tutoring." I pursed my lips trying to think. I heard my stomach growl. "Okay, what about... do you have, like, baking supplies? We can try to make your Mom's brownies."

"My Dad's going to kill me if he find a mess."

"No he won't, I'm sure he-"

"Asteria."

I stopped myself from arguing. "Okay, no baking. We could go for a walk or take an adventure on the streetcar or something. The sun's about to set - a walk along the beach would be fun."

"It's so far."

"And you're so picky." I stick my elbow into his chest lightly. "You're the one that wants to do something else, do you have any ideas, genius?"

"When do you have to be home?"

I think about it for a minute. "I don't know, my parents know I'm here. They probably won't care as long as I let them know where I'm going to be."

There's something running through his mind, I could tell. Eventually, Ronan sits up. "Aster, can I ask you something?"

I tilt my head, a bit confused. "Yeah, of course. What's up?"

"Okay, I just want to make sure you don't feel pressured into answering one way or another, like I'm genuinely just curious."

I nod. Again, a bit confused. A bit curious, too. "Okay, okay, I'll answer honestly. Now, are you going to ask?"

He hesitates a little bit, rubbing his wrist. "Um, okay. I don't really know how to ask this but..."

"But..."

"What are your thoughts or plans or whatever on-" He stops. He's nervous to ask. I grab his hand as he finishes. "On sex."

I'm a little thrown back by the question. It was so out of the blue, but yet in the back of my head, I knew this was going to come up eventually. I look down at my hands. "Um, what do you mean?" I decide to ask.