DISCONT | Scorched Earth P1 [Creepypasta]

Ch22 - Silence.

Silence was bittersweet. It meant there weren't any distractions, nor anything to cause for me to become more overwhelmed than I already was. But it also forced me to deal with my own thoughts. To deal with my own anxieties, my own depressive mindset as I begun to spiral back into a dark place I had thought I finally rid myself off.

I had faced mental health difficulties before. I knew thousands of different ways to cope, yet whenever I was not feeling okay, it was like I couldn't remember them. And the few that I could remember, were just... too much energy.

I begun to unwrap the bandages on my arms. I hadn't really looked at them, not even when Tim had so carefully patched the wounds up. I couldn't remember the last time I had just sat down and focused on myself.

The skin there was slightly pale from not being exposed to as much sunlight, though I hadn't really left home in a while anyway. I gently traced over the wounds, which had scabbed over. I winced at the first touch, though the pain wasn't really that noticeable. 

It was a long but thoughtful silence. I noted how the wounds didn't seem congruent with glass shattering outward at me. The wounds looked... self inflicted. As though I had done this to myself, even though my memory told me something different. 

Tim must have known that when he tended to the cuts, yet he didn't get mad at me or blame me. He had just comforted me, made sure that I was alright without ever having even raised his voice at me. I wasn't used to that, not whilst in a state of vulnerability.

I hesitantly reached out to my phone. It was always difficult to reach out to others, but the creeping urge inside me to harm myself meant that I wasn't safe on my own. I hovered on Tim's number for a while. It wasn't that I didn't want to call him... it was just hard for me to take that step.

When I heard the sound of the call connecting, I instantly hung up. It was a reflexive action, and whilst I instantly regretted hanging up, I couldn't bring myself to reinitiate the call. Maybe it was a sign that I shouldn't have tried in the first place. 

I sighed, instead putting on a random playlist from my albums library. I needed something to fill the silence, something other than my own shaky breaths and depressing thoughts. It happened to be one of my favorite songs, so I left it playing.