You brought light into my life. But now, I don't want to be alive.

Tell me why! (Ain't Nothin' but a heartache)

Summary:

We last left of with Hizashi begging Shota to tell him what's wrong. Will Shota tell Hizashi the truth? Or just push him away again? Read more to find out😉
Notes:

How are you guys liking it so far? I'm thinking this fic will be about 10 chapters at least. Each chapter is about/over 1000 words so we got about half way to go if I am only writing 10 chapters
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text
Please, just tell me what's wrong...

As Shota heard those words he felt a wave of emotions. Mostly sadness and anger. But there was also a hint of love. Did Hizashi really care about him...? Should he really be pushing the blond away again?

"Please..." Hizashi whispered reaching out for him again. "Tell me why you want to push me away. Just tell me what's going on! Maybe-" he sighed "Maybe I can help you! And I know you don't want my help but- just please... give me a chance, Sho." He rubbed Aizawa's shoulder to comfort him.

Shota looked up from the ground and into his eyes for a moment. "Hizashi..." he whimpered out as tears started to fall from his eyes. It only took a few seconds before Shota fell down on his knees beginning to have a break down.

Hizashi moved down to the ground with him, bringing the male into his arms "Oh, Sho..." he had no idea what Aizawa was going through but it was obviously really bad, and he wanted to help in anyway he could.

He sobbed into the blonds chest hugging tight onto him before he realized what he was doing and pulled away. "Please..." he begged looking at Hizashi. "Let me deal with this on my own..." He sniffed, rubbing his eyes. "I don't want, or need your help."

"No! Listen, I'm sorry, Sho... but I can't just leave you hear like this. You need some help! And you have to be willing to let me help you!!" He begged Aizawa to let him help. He didn't want to see his friend hurting anymore.

Shota shakes his head "NO, you need to fucking listen!!" He pointed at him "Can't you see that you're the fucking problem!!"

Hizashi stopped for a moment. "I-I'm what...?" His heart hurt. "Sho, if I'm the problem then why don't you let me know what I'm doing wrong! I'm your friend! I want to help!!" He sighed

"You fucking heard me, Yamada." He threw his hands up "THIS!! This is the fucking problem!!! You come into my home, invading my personal space, and you judge me on the way I cope with my fucking feelings!!" He let out a cry "And has it ever occurred to you that I don't even want to be friends!?"

Hizashi looked down, not realizing how much he was actually hurting Shota. "Sho-" he whispered "I-..." he frowned "You really don't want to be friends with me...?" he asked sadly

I want to be more than friends...

"I-" Shota sighed. "I don't know okay!" He clenched his fists "I just know I want to deal with it alone. And for you to leave me alone!"

"Aizawa, I can't just let you do this to yourself! I know you want me to leave you alone, but you need some help!" "So just please. Let me help you."

Shota rubbed his eyes "I said no, Yamada!! It's physically and mentally painful for you to be around me!!"

Hizashi quickly wrapped his arms around the male. "Then tell me what I'm doing wrong! I could change for you!"

He shook his head "No! I don't want to! Because if you do what I really want... You'll probably resent me for the rest of your life!" All that Shota truly wanted was to have Hizashi for himself. It didn't even have to be romantic! For his entire life he was pretty much alone; until he met Hizashi. He thought the 'love at first sight' trope was pretty cheesy, but that was the only way describe how he first felt about the blond. Hizashi brought light into his life... but now the light seemed to be fading away.

It wasn't a surprise that about each girlfriend that Hizashi introduced to Shota hated him. It was obviously clear that the dark haired man was in love with the Voice Hero. Obviously, Hizashi was oblivious to it; which upset Shota even more. What hurt Shota especially was whenever Hizashi would tell him how much he was in love with the girl. Or also when he told Shota how the sex was. It was like Hizashi was purposely making him jealous!

"Please, Shota! How could I ever resent you! It can't be that bad, can it?" He gave Shota a gentle squeeze.

He was melting in his arms. He could never get over the male no matter how bad he wanted to.He hadn't even dated once! And he was thirty-one years old for crying out loud! Although he had simple attractions to other men, Hizashi is the only man he truly wanted. Letting out a sigh, he replied. "So you'd never date again, just for me? Never touch another girl, just for me?"

Hizashi rubbed his back, pretty sure the that the male in his arms was joking. "I mean- I'm not sure? What are the circumstances..?" He was honestly confused.

Shota pulled away sighing "It doesn't matter. Just fucking forget it." He whispered reaching up to pull out the rubber band "Just leave me alone."

"No, really! I want to know why!" He frowned as Shota let go. "Please, just tell me what you want me to do. And I'll change." He knew this wasn't the best way to help Shota, but this is the only way he knew how to help in the moment.

Shaking his head he went to open the door. "I already told you what I wanted you to do!!!" He yelled frustrated. "And you can't just fucking change because I tell you to!! I'd hate myself even more for changing you!"

Hizashi's looked confused "But why-" he tilted his head "Why would you want that...?" "And no! I promise I won't resent you for anything you ask me to do, Sho! You're my best bud and I'd do anything for you!" He grabbed him by the arm "Please, don't leave!" "We can talk this out!"

"Oh my god. You're so oblivious! I give up, Yamada! I'm tired of trying, I'm tired of living!" He mumbled before yanking his arm away "Let me go!"

"Oblivious of what!?" Hizashi responded grabbing his arm again  "No! I'm not going to just give up and let go go! I hate seeing my friend in pain! And I'll do anything to help! Anything!"

Yanking his arm back and pushing Hizashi away physically, Shota hated himself for doing this. But he had to, to spare himself from more pain. Or atleast he thought he was. "You're a dumbass." He opened the door "Goodbye, Mic. And please, don't go searching for me. I'll come back when I feel like." He looked away swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Aizawa, no!" He called out for him watching as the male jumped down from the balcony and ran off. "Shota..." he sighed going over to grab his things before leaving. It was too late for a train so he decided to walk. On that walk, he thought of Aizawa, and what he had said.

Why would Aizawa not want me to be with anyone...? He wondered.

"He was serious.., wasn't he?" He whispered to himself as he walked back to his home. All he wanted was to help Aizawa. He needed to atleast let someone else know what was going on; so maybe they could try to help Aizawa, since he clearly didn't want any help from Hizashi.

***

              Nemuri AKA Midnight💜🖤🌙✨
                         
                            12:35 am

                                        Hey, we need to talk

Notes:

Should one of these chapters be a flashback to their Highschool days?