A Long Hunt

Slow Recovery and a Gentle Hand

“I-I just couldn’t Cas. I was so angry. I wanted to see you, yet I wanted to-” Dean broke off and looked up at Cas with tears in his eyes as he breathed, “I wanted to kiss you, but I also wanted to k-kill you. Then at the same time I just didn’t give a single fuck about anything.” There was desperation in Dean’s voice as he came close to the verge of tears. Dean Winchester had finally hit the barrier that made everything else just crash down around him.

Cas walked to Dean and pulled the broken hunter into his arms. Dean was finally letting himself be pulled into Castiel’s tight embrace. He didn’t have the energy resist anymore.

“I-I couldn’t have lived with myself if I- if I hurt you or Sam. I’ve already killed so many people and I can’t ever forgive myself for that.” Dean choked into Castiel’s shoulder.

He hadn’t meant to reveal so much to Cas, but once he began to talk it was like the flood gates had opened up, and his story just came spilling forward.

“I-I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me anymore.” Dean began, burying his face deeper into Castiel’s shoulder.

However, he was immediately silenced as Cas pulled back and made Dean look up into those piercing blue eyes. “Don’t you ever say that Dean. I will always love you, no matter what you do. We are bonded to one another.” Cas knew this was true. Even if Dean had slept with that woman Cas still would want the hunter. There was no way that Dean could get rid of him that easily, or get rid of him ever for that matter.

“But I’m a monster Cas.” Dean sniffled, trying to pull himself back together. “I break everything I touch.”

“You’re not a monster Dean, you’ve just strayed from the path, but that’s what I’m here for. I’m going to make everything okay. We keep each other from wandering too far away.” Cas said as he pulled Dean’s head back into his chest and holding him there.

“Do you still want me to keep that promise I made you?” Dean asked as his hand trailed down to the angel’s ass, as he listened to the angel’s strong heartbeat pounding in his chest.

“Always. Being with you intimately is one of the best things in life. Actually, anything with you there beside me makes everything okay in the world.”

“Jesus Cas. What did I do to deserve someone like you?” Dean murmured as he looked up again and placed a small kiss on the angel’s lips.

“You’ve done everything to deserve me Dean. You deserve so much in life and I seek to give you everything. I want you to be happy. You’ve earned that. You should have always had happiness in your life, but fate tried to get in the way.” Cas said as kissed Dean’s lips carefully.

Dean scoffed and said, “I highly doubt I deserve what I have, but I’ll take what I can get.”

Cas didn’t bother trying to argue with Dean. It would get him nowhere, but hey, who said recovery took place over night. One day Dean would see that life could be so much more. Cas would wait patiently for this day to come. Hell, he would wait until the end of time if he had too.

Cas slowly reached into Dean’s pocked and pulled out the hunters phone.

“What are you doing?” Dean asked as looked at Cas in amusement.

“Putting on some music for us.” Cas said with a smirk. “I gotta at least try to set the mood off right don’t I?”

Dean chuckled and watched as Castiel quickly opened up the hunter’s music list and hit the shuffle button. They would just have to see what was going to come on.

Cas tossed the phone gently aside as a soft guitar came strumming through the speakers.

Dean took in a small breath as he closed his eyes and smiled softly.