"...you hold all my secrets and you are the one thing that can destroy me if you choose to." -Kim Seokjin
He spent his entire life doing what he was told to uphold the family name, but when one decision could make a lasting impression on his reputa...
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It's been a couple of days, but who's counting? I'm back at work, falling into my normal routine. Some patients eyeing me, because let's be honest, why is a woman like me working in a hospital in Korea? Things I didn't deal with during my care of my recently deceased patient. She didn't care for those glares and comments I would share with her from others. She had a few choice words for them as well. I lowered my head in a chuckle, reminiscing this.
I miss her so much.
Similar reasons are running through my patients' minds, privy to the same thoughts of Seokjin's mother. Being the mouthy woman she was, it surprised me she didn't outright say what she felt. No sarcasm intended, of course. She had no qualms in making herself clear of staying away from Seokjin. Perhaps it's the reason there is a deafening silence on his end. I won't deny it hurts to consider this. It served me right for not listening to Miss Choi. Now the question is, how do I stop falling for someone?
My gaze drifted over to Taehyung, who's been a little awkward. I haven't heard from him since that night at my apartment, and to be honest, I haven't reached out either-mostly because I don't know what to say without guilt masking my face and taking hostage to any explanation I could give. Taehyung admitted he was waiting to be with me, and then he sees Seokjin at my apartment. He's a smart man, and he can connect the dots.
The good doctor gave me a slight smile before he proceeded down the hall. I'm not too fond of this rift between us. I may not be able to handle my thing with Seokjin, but I won't let anything ruin my friendship with Taehyung. So, I followed him. "Dr. Kim," I called. "Can we talk?" I smiled at him.
Taehyung's eyes wandered mine before he gulped, "I uh, I have some patients I need to, uh," he couldn't even complete his sentences with me.
"Yeah, I get it. Maybe soon then?" I answered. He nodded and smiled before walking away. It was a polite dismissal, and clearly, he had no words for me. I won't give up on Taehyung. I want him in life, even if it's not the way he wanted us to be.
Throughout the day, he dodged me as much as he could, and I gave him space, just like I'm giving Seokjin space. It's not the same, and I appear to be in the middle of something with them. Seokjin's curiosity about my relationship with Taehyung still haunted him, and now Taehyung is wondering what's the story between Seokjin and me. I'm definitely caught in the middle, and things will only worsen if I don't resolve this.
Jungkook was off today, so work was slower than usual. Mae was there, and I wouldn't be off in reading the awkwardness between her and me as well. I wouldn't think Hobi told her how much Jungkook and I scold him about her, but she should understand all in the same. He is our best friend, and we care for his best interests. Funny, Seokjin's mom came to mind. However, we are nothing alike.
Her best interest is for her son to marry someone she didn't consider the help, and I'm sure my outside appearance played much into this reasoning as well. Wonder what she would think to know her son lost his virginity at a young age and recently involved with a married woman? Seems like most of his relationships had been with a woman who was unattainable until he met me. Is that the issue? Because I am attainable, he isn't used to it. Perhaps he can't handle a woman like me, so he hides-secrets hidden in the dark always come to light.
My phone vibrated, and I read a text message from Hobi, checking on me. I spoke vaguely to him and Jungkook about the funeral, and I didn't bother to share my tiff with Seokjin's mother. Perhaps I would share the story with Hobi, and one day with Jungkook, after I admit my tryst with Seokjin.
<We should talk soon. You're not okay. You haven't seen Jin, have you? >
My brows knitted on the last question as my heart pounded, wondering the worse. I replied to him, telling him we should talk, and I haven't spoken with Seokjin. The little bubble in the corner seemed to think longer than it should-or I'm hallucinating.
<Hmm, he seems a little different. He didn't stay long at Yoongi's last night. He was drunk again>
Hobi added the annoyed face emoji. I can't say I don't blame him. His drinking is bothering me too.
The more I wonder, being drunk seemed to be a characteristic I've encountered more often than I should. He was drunk when he first approached me at the cottage, a little tipsy at Jungkook's party and his latest surprise at my apartment.
<You should reach out. He needs you>.
Hobi wrote again before I could answer. My heart pounded at his last statement once again. This time, there was a strength behind this feeling I wasn't expecting.
<He knows how to reach me if he needs me> I responded. I want to see him for sure, but on his terms, not mine. Pushing him will not make him love me, and I want nothing one-sided. Besides, he told me to give him time, and now he's taking back what he said? Men.
<Let's meet for dinner! Your restaurant>.
I told Hobi before I closed my phone and placed it in my pocket.
