Chapter 37:Mirha

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Mirha's pov:

"I wiped my cheeks, but fresh tears wet them again as I moved back. "I- I was 7.... that night too, Dad was hitting mom..... I can't remember the reason. Not that he ever needed an actual one........ But it was bad,.... he was more violent than usual." My breath got hitched due to the bursts of emotions I was feeling.

The urge to hurt myself was strong, but Saad's voice pulled me to the present. He was telling me to give him my hand, to look at him.

"Mom locked me in my room like many other times.... She knew that I stayed terrorized for days after seeing him beat her. She didn't want that to happen. I could hear the voices of them fighting, screaming throwing things.. and then..... then the things went quite with a loud thud. I waited for mom to come and open the door, thinking that the fight had stopped. But just after a few minutes.... another shot rang......" the pain in my heart was suffocating me, Saad pulled me closer to him holding my hands and I let him. He was the only thing, keeping me connected to the present, not letting me loose myself in the past.

I hid my face in his chest and continued speaking, knowing that the past won't drown me with its sorrows in his grip."Neighbours called the police hearing the shots. The police found me in my room. I was asking for mom, wanting to go downstairs and see where she was... but the lady kept my eyes covered as she took me out of the house. They told me that my parents were no more." I hiccupped feeling the abandonment I had felt at that moment. My mom wasn't with me anymore.

"Later I heard them talking, my mother had shot my dad with his gun and then killed herself.... She had left my grandfather's name, writing her last wish that she wanted me to stay with him. The police contacted my grandfather and I was handed to him..... My father was a violent man by nature, his family kept away from him, so there wasn't any reluctance about my guardianship from their side at that time also....."

Saad's pov:

"Grandpa wasn't really.... welcoming towards me, but he never hurt me. My mother had married my father against his wishes and he broke every contact with her.... But he still took me in. My life with him was a lot more comfortable. He was a retired army officer and liked to spend most of his time to himself. I barely saw him on dinning table. He wasn't interested in my life matters. Rabia bi usually got the things done for me........ And when he died, I came here....."She explained everything sounding grateful for all her grandfather had done. and I felt like going and killing all 3 of them again. They had ruined this soul without even a second thought.

I touched her hair softly," look at me" I called her softly and she did look up, but didn't bother moving back. I looked down and saw her red face, tears were still wetting her face, but she seemed a lot more calm, the panic, the suffocation wasn't there on her face anymore. I knew that letting it all out was going to help her.

"You are a brave soul" I told her and then moved my head down slowly, letting her see my movement. I placed a soft kiss on her hair line and felt grateful when she didn't pull back.

She moved back once I lifted my head, her cheeks went a bit more than they already were. " This made you fear touch?" I asked for confirmation.

She seemed to think for a few seconds "I went wary of touches from childhood.....Mom was the only person, I felt comfortable with. Even if dad wasn't abusive towards me, I used to keep my distance. After that night....... it became a lot worse, I just couldn't stand physical contact..... Grandpa always stayed at a distance, Rabia bi also learnt to stay away after seeing my panic attacks, sometimes, I just lost consciousness. In school too, students stayed away after 2 3 incidents of me losing myself, calling me weirdo and other names. Grandpa sent me to the psychiatrist too, but things were too fresh, too painful to let it be of any help

Trusting... people to let them touch me is ... difficult. The fear of them hurting me make me push them away. Even if I rationally know that they won't hurt me, I just can't stop my instinctual reaction to push them away. Sometimes.... I hate myself for pulling away, for making people look at me as a weirdo, but I can't help it..... I try.. I try my hardest" the helplessness was clear in her voice.

"We are going to make you enjoy touch. Now go and wash your face, Its all blotchy from crying" I pulled the front strand of her teasingly, wanting to pull her out of the gloominess. She stood up pouting unintentionally, a smile grazed my lips as I watched her disappear in the bathroom. I lowered the lights in the bedroom, making it comfortable enough for her to sleep.

When she came back, she was a lot more calm, tiredness was clear from her face. She laid down on her side of the bed, I could see her need for closeness at that moment. She was feeling vulnerable after sharing so much with me.

I sat on the bed near her, she scooted a bit back, pulling the comforter properly on her, but still kept her face towards me. I ran a hand through her hair in a soothing manner.

"Sleep, you need to go to university tomorrow" I kept my voice low, not wanting to disturb the peaceful environment surrounding us. She closed her eyes nodding, I smiled seeing her obedience, but it disappeared as I caught the sight of her wrist. There were red marks from when she dig her nails there, thankfully, the skin hadn't punctured.

"Next time, if you feel the need to let your emotions out, come to me. I don't want to see any new mark on your arms again." I could hear the cold command in my voice.

She opened her eyes, looking at me as if I was a mystery she wanted to solve.

"Why haven't you said anything about them before ?" She asked me with mere curiosity.

"I didn't feel like I had the right to, when I couldn't help you, or make it easier for you to take your emotions out. Now, I know the way to help you" I told her and watched her blush in seconds. She closed her eyes and pulled the blanket till her nose.

I also got up shaking my head, this girl was going to give me a heart attack with all these innocent moves of hers.....................

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Waqt k ghungroo pehny naachy
Ishq me lutta sarkaar whi......
Haathon hath na lie jae
Sachy jinky jazbaat sahi
Duniya he jo pal me maasha
Na is sy rkho umeeed koi
Rang bdlty pl na laawy
Jitni ik hony ki baat sahi........

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SALAAM READERS! heres the update❤️❤️❤️❤️

Eid mubarak everyone❤️

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