𝑆𝐼𝑁𝐶𝐸𝑅𝐸𝐿𝑌, 𝐽𝑈𝐷𝐸. || 𝐽𝑈𝑁𝐺𝐾𝑂𝑂𝐾 𝐹𝐹

no. 13

a/n: (search and read lyrics of Still With You and Euphoria before continuing)

Dear, Jungkook

I'm not really sure where to start. You left about a month ago, and my life has never felt so empty. I've spent the last few days running through every memory that truly stood out to me over our short amount of time together. From the first night we spent together at the reunion with hobi, to the night hobi came home and I was angrier than I thought I could ever get. I wish I could press those days between the pages of a book and keep them forever, but instead I'm writing you this letter.

I keep up with your band in the news and through Hobi when we catch each other at a time we are both awake and not busy, and I hear that you have a comeback next month. I'm really excited for you, and I know we promised at the beginning of the summer not to give our phone numbers to each other because we would never be apart long enough to need them. I didn't know how else to contact you and I wanted to tell you how much I love you and I miss you and I am so endlessly proud of how hard you have worked and how far you have come. You gave me the address of your apartment so I could send anything directly to you, and if I were a terrible person (which luckily for you, I'm not) I would leak this and you'd have a thousand fangirls outside your door within the hour.

College is going really well, my classes are so much fun and I'm ready to graduate. Even though we decided I would stay here and you would stay there I can't go a day without thinking of you and the memories we made together.

Remember the night of my birthday when we danced on the street? I couldn't figure out for the life of me what that song was, so for a couple weeks now I've been going back to that same street corner hoping to see those musicians. Finally, last night they were there. They remembered us, and asked where my 'handsome boyfriend' was. I had told them that it was a long story and asked them to play the same song they played that night. Apparently it's called "The Night We Met" and the lyrics killed me when they sang to me. I danced by myself last night, wishing you were holding me one more time.

In some ways I think our story turned out really beautiful. Right person, wrong time, or maybe even right person, wrong lifetime. If that's the case, then I will be sure to search to the ends of the Earth for you in my next life.

I think we ended up like Elio and Oliver don't you think? You moved back to Seoul and took my heart with you, but I'm working to bring it back again. You have your dreams to chase in Korea and mine are waiting for me to catch them here in the U.S. The most heartbreaking lovers to strangers I've ever heard.

I also heard your new songs, since I can listen to your music now without you here to stop me. I can tell you one thing and that is that I was not expecting a slow song, especially with the rockstar persona you built for yourself with me.

I'm absolutely in love with "Still With You" I miss you too. I wish I could look you in the eyes and tell you we don't have to dance alone anymore. I know neither of the songs are out, but Hobi sent me the demos. The lyrics of "Euphoria" are so beautifully written, and you are so unbelievably talented. There is nothing in this world I miss more than you singing me to sleep.

That first day we spent on the Euphoria at the beach was indescribable. I can't believe it was so long ago that I was sitting out in the sun with you playing with my hair.

Thank you for the flowers, Jungkook. The same ones that you got me on my birthday, but this time the note read

a bouquet for every month we spend apart

They're sitting on my desk now, and it's actually storming. Believe it or not, you taught me how to love a thunderstorm, and how nothing would hurt me as long as I had you. Even though I don't have you with me, you still taught me how to love and I have carried that with me everywhere.

I'm not afraid of thunderstorms anymore. I realized it to be such a trivial thing to fear. After having a love as great as yours and losing it... well I realized that was my worst fear, and nothing could hurt me worse than that.

Hobi tells me you talk about me constantly, but I wish I could call you. Please, if you get this, call me. Hoseok has my number but he won't give me yours.

I just need you to sing me to sleep just one more time. One more time is all I ask and you can return to the other side of the world.

Thank you for absolutely everything Jungkook. You have taught me more than any book I will ever read or any semester at college ever could.

May we live on in another life.

Until we meet again, your pretty girl

sincerely, jude.