Perspectives

7

Senators lodge
4:00pm

Cynthia

Bullies are insecure.....

I pushed the front huge door and walked into my really large house, the large house that was the beginning of my frustration, the reason I couldn't wait to leave for school everyday.

No one was in the sitting room and then I tiptoed to the staircase.

I was already on the 7th step or so.

"Walking in like a thief again aren't you?" My mum's voice came out loud.

God, I thought luck was on my side.

"I saw your result sheet, as usual, you couldn't get to the top 3 in your test"

I was backing my mother and so I slowly turned around to meet her gaze and I saw the look on her face, look of disappointment that usually marred her face about any matter concerning me, looks that I felt were now specially reserved for me.

Damn St Louis school for always sending our test result to our parents.

"I'll do better mum" I tried to convince her.

The look was still on her face, it had morphed to something like anger and disgust, I was her last child for goodness sake, wasn't I supposed to be the most loved?

Well welcome to my home, I was the least loved in a family of perfectionists, a family that was obsessed with fame, with records. You could see it from the application of gel to the academic achievement.

My mum intimidated me, yes she did. She wasn't a typical African mom, she was a modern African mum,she knew all the  clothes brand, the makeup, slangs, anything.

She had a light skin that she took care of really well, average height and a smile always on her face but I rarely saw such smile in my situation. It was suffocating.

"I always hear that always. For someone who is my daughter, I'm beginning to think you were switched at the hospital"

Two stabs in my chest, my breathing slowed but I didn't blink, I heard it over and over again from her.

I looked at my feet this time, my sneakers seemed more colorful now, somehow I wondered how come I never noticed the tiny stain on my shoelace.

"Your elder sister graduated from Harvard with distinction and my twins are doing well in their respective school works"

I wanted to remind my mum it was just a test, just a secondary school test.

"What do you think life is all about Cynthia, what exactly?"

I still had my eyes fixed on my sneakers, I just came fourth in this test I wanted to scream, when I came first the previous term, my mum didn't say anything beautiful, she didn't hug me like she hugged my sisters, was it because I wasn't the first child or because I wasn't a twin?

What had she said

"Your sister made an excellent grade too in class, she took first place for 6 straight years"

My mum shook her head and walked away back into the kitchen where she was clearly supervising the cooking.

I walked towards my room that was at the edge of the passage way, see, even in sharing of rooms I was marginalized.

I tried to ignore the faint voice of  Kidi's Say Cheese coming from my room probably cos I could be hearing things but that wasn't it, it was coming from my room, loud and clear. That only meant one thing;