because he didn't love me

how i became happy

Dear diary,

I'm happy.

Wow when I started writing in here I never thought it would turn positive.

But here we are

I woke up and instead of thinking fuck I have to get up and do life I thought I wonder what will happen today and got up smiling

You must be confused seeing as last time I wrote in here I was telling you why I loved Harry and I was talking about how we were on our way to England for the shows there.

Well basically Zayn found this

I'll tell you what happened

I had gone out with Niall to look around the city and when I came back to the hotel room Liam walked out Zayn's room and told me to go to Harry's room and wake him up from his nap.

I quite often had to do this as I was the only one he wouldn't get mad at so I didn't think much of it until Liam told Niall to stay with him but I just brushed it off and went to Harry's room which was also my room as even though management still booked us separate rooms we just decided we were going to go back to sharing a room .

Once he was awake we went down to zayn's room to join everyone else "Harry do you wanna go get lunch with me so we can bring it back here for everyone" Niall had said, Harry agreed and the two of them left leaving me alone with Zayn and Liam.

"Is everything okay" I had asked, that's when Zayn reached behind him and pulled out the diary, I didn't know what to do, were they mad at me....I don't know what happened but I just started crying. They came over and hugged me "it's okay Louis" they had said to me.

We sat there for a while talking about everything and even though they read it all in the book I explained it to them. So now everyone knows apart Harry

They think I should talk to him about it all....should I?

What the fuck am I saying you can't answer me you're just a diary.

Anyways I'm going to go and hang out with the guys, this is the first time I've suggested we do something together in ages and I actually feel excited...this is good I think everything is going to be okay.

This time he just left the diary on the shelf it didn't matter if anyone found it because they would see the new entry and know everything was getting better. He did slightly worry about Harry finding it but he knew Harry would have to know at some point and if he reads about it then Louis won't have to explain it all to him.

He went and found the other boys "so what are we doing?" Niall asked as they all meet up in the lobby of the hotel they were currently in. "I talked to security and they said we can all go play some footie at a local pitch" Louis explained. They all talked about band stuff as they waited for security to let them leave and get them to the pitch.

They all spent the day just kicking around a football and laughing, it was just like how it was at the start of the band. Louis laughed, and smiled brightly all day, he really hadn't felt this happy in ages, of course everything wasn't suddenly just fixed, he still had a lot to figure out but for now he felt slightly less trapped.