Ineffable

38 | FEELINGS ARE MESSIER THAN MY ROOM

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Iris

"What are you looking at?" I say to Beast as he lays still, in front of me, on my bed. "Yeah, yeah. I know I look really obsessed with these pictures. Sue me."

Damn, something's wrong with me.

The last five hours were nothing but a mess for me after Noah dropped me home and the actual reality kicked in its cage. All I have been doing these hours is sleep (a nap since Noah has to enter my dreams, now), dance (the only thing that keeps me sane), eat (a lot than usual), but mostly, I am sulking in my room and getting moodier by every ticking second.

Again, like every hour - actually, every minute in my room, I see the pictures we had clicked. In total, there were sixteen and each one of us took eight pictures. But here's the thing, I don't know what pictures he has taken.

In almost half of my set, he is being a non-smiling Grumpy McPants but still looking so good while I am 'oh look there is a puppy' smiling and being goofy as I hug Beast, though I still find two pictures that will qualify as my favorites.

In the first one, we got free from the camera lady, we are looking at each other with smiles as Noah hands me the cotton candy. Even though I look a bit tensed and heartbroken, this the only picture with me where Noah smiles and I like this feeling, looking at his smile.

"Goodness, woman, get a grip," I murmur to myself, shaking away my thoughts, and pick up my absolute favorite one.

In this one picture, Beast has been kept over me and I am over Noah, who I forced to sit down. I am laughing as I pulled up Noah's cheeks to make him smile, despite his protests, and he is eyes are a bit wide.

"What the-"

"Don't cuss, Noah!" I say to him, still laughing.

"Dohn phul ma chik," He says when I pull his cheeks up.

Suddenly, the door of my room opens and I realize I have been laughing. Mom looks at me, skeptically, and then, at Beast.

"What are you doing?" She asks me, narrowing her eyes a bit.

"Uh... Revising my dance steps," I say, smiling and hoping she doesn't catch my lie.

"Right..." Mom trails away, leaning on the door frame. "I thought I told you to keep Beast on the bay window."

"I... forgot," I say but it comes out like a question. I see the gears in Mom's brain turning and calculating my moves.

"It is one am."

"I know."

She looks at me for solid three seconds, before asking, "Why are you not asleep?"

"I am... watching a movie," I reply, grinning. "Spiderman: Homecoming."

"Your laptop is on your desk."

"I am watching it on my phone."

She rolls her eyes. "You have answers to everything."

"I am your daughter," I say and she laughs.

"Okay but sleep. You have school tomorrow."

"You have work tomorrow. So, you sleep too."

Finally, she groans (admitting her defeat). "You are not going to tell me?" She asks, exasperated.

"About what?" I ask her back.