𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐂𝐇: 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

S7 • E8 - Directions

Fade in to Simmons and Shadow standing inside the Blue Base at Valhalla.

Simmons: "What the hell is all this stuff?"

Shadow: "I have no idea."

Donut: (enters) "Oh, there you are! Did you blow up the base yet?"

Simmons: "Look at this mess, Donut. It's like he wrecked the place."

Donut: "Oh yeah, that's Caboose's project."

Shadow: "Project?"

Simmons: This is what he's been working on?

Donut: "He's trying to rebuild a body for that blue buddy of his. ...eh, looks like a piece is missing though."

Simmons: "For the dead guy. Gimme a break. No wonder no one ever wins this war. We're all doing stuff like building lame robots."

Shadow: "Uh Simmons?"

Simmons: (Annoyed) "What now?"

Simmons turns around to see Lopez and Wade standing behind him.

Simmons: "Oh, hey... Lopez. Uh, I didn't mean you, I meant other... robots..."

Lopez takes off.

Wade: "That was kind of racist Simmons."

Simmons: (chases after Lopez) "That's not true! I have all kinds of mechanical friends!"

Moment of silence.

Shadow: "I think we should be glad that Theta left with South. Or we'd be down a member if Theta heard Simmons say that."

Donut: "Oh yeah. Definitely."

Wade: "Agreed,"

Cuts to Sandtrap. The camera zooms out slowly from the side of an Elephant.

Intercom announcer: "Just... just give me the microphone." (over the intercom) "Do not, under any circumstances, move. You have entered an active mine field."

Caboose: "Does thinking count as moving. Because if it does, I think I might've moved—up! I did again."

Grif/South: "Shut up, Caboose!"

Caboose: "Well, I don't want to get exploded!"

Sarge: "How do we get outta here?"

Intercom announcer: "We will guide you out."

Sarge: "Great! Let us wait for you to come out here then!"

Intercom announcer: "What? ...no, fuck that, listen! We're not coming out there, okay? Hang tight. We're gonna upload the schematics... we'll be right back. Don't. Move."

Sarge: "Grif! What were you thinking driving us straight into a mine field!?"

Grif: "Me? I was only following the directions from Theta and Zeta. Besides, you were in the passenger seat. That makes you the navigator!"

Sarge: "What are you talking about?"

Grif: "Everybody knows that. You're in charge of directions!"

Sarge: "No! The shotgun seat is reserved for the position of respect. And for people who carry shotguns. (holds up shotgun) See? (makes a clicking noise) Quid pro quo. Now Grif, here's the plan. You walk in front of us, very slowly."