𝓗𝓮𝔂 𝓐𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓵 | 𝓓𝓪𝓻𝔂𝓵 𝓓𝓲𝔁𝓸𝓷

Chapter 41: Pessimist or Realist?

I woke early the next day having slept the best I had in years. No waking up at the slightest noise and more importantly no nightmares.

"Finally, she wakes," Daryl teased as I stirred and stretched.

"Shut up, Angel," I said sweetly finally looking at up him. "Now come on we've got work to do." I stood up and attempted to straighten out my mess of brown hair.

"Well I was planning on doin it but someone decided ta sleep on top a me," He complained.

"Excuses, excuses, Angel," I offered him a hand which he took and I yanked him off the ground and close to me giving him a quick kiss before heading off down the stairs and out into the sun.

You would think after living in America I would be used to the heat but the best here compared to Quantico seemed impressively different.

"Why is it so bloody hot?" I huffed very tempted to take off my flannel shirt but the desire to keep my scars hidden stopped me.

"You see that big yellow thing up in the sky? It's called the sun English. It makes things hot," Rick explained with words dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh does it now? You know I didn't know that," I replied grinning at the man as he joined me and Daryl. "Once again you're a fountain of knowledge Rick Grimes," I declared dramatically which caused Carol and T-dog to laugh as they joined us.

We got to work heading out and driving in the cars left outside as well as making a few more checks of the surrounding fence. Once the last car was in we regrouped.

Coming back to the gate I stared at the mass of corpses matter about the slightly dead-looking grass.

"It's gonna be a long day," T-dog commented.

"You can say that again," I returned. "But hopefully, after all this, we can have a bit of fun. We've got something good here and I'm determined to enjoy it while it lasts. "

"How do you plan on doing that?" T questioned eagerly with a wide smile.

"I've managed to pick up a few treats along the way. I've been saving them since the farm waiting for the right time to share them. I think we might finally be there." I smiled proud of all we had managed to achieve recently. We were together, we had a safe place to live, I had a man who cared about me just as much as I care about him. But...there was this pit in my stomach. What if it all went wrong again? What if someone died? What if I died? Heaven knows I've been in a lot of shit situations recently. I didn't know I was frowning until Daryl had come over and mirrored the expression.

"You okay fancy pants?"

"Yeah, don't worry. Just my brain going against me," I offered him a small smile.

"Where's Glenn and Maggie? We could use some," Carol asked. 

"Up in the guard tower," Daryl answered walking forwards a little and pointed up at the tall structure. He dragged me forwards with him as he'd grabbed my hand.

"The guard tower? They were just up there last night," Rick half-whispered to Daryl. I laughed a little to myself taking a guess at what exactly they may have been doing.

"Glenn! Maggie!" Daryl hollered and a few moments later Glenn emerged with no shirt and was trying to do up his trousers.

"Hey, what's up guys!" He called with a slightly awkward smile.

We all started to laugh amongst ourselves. All grinning and smiling. For that moment there was nothing bad going on. No walkers, no loss, no pain. Just laughter. Albeit at Glenn and Maggie's expense.

"You coming?" Daryl called back. I just stood admiring the grin on his face. Something I loved to see these days.

I let a loud snort of laughter "Not anytime soon." I muttered and half cackled. Carol hit me round the back of the head.

"Oi! what war that for?" I cried still laughing.

"Dirty girl," Carol reprimanded with a playful smile.

"Literally or figuratively?" I shot back and we broke into more laughter.

"Hey, Rick..." The tone of T-dog's voice cut through the light-hearted mood. And with that, it was almost gone.

The two inmates had returned from their cell block. We all went up to meet Rick at the head- he looked furious to see them again. Both inmates wanted to leave the horrid cell block they'd been left in. Axel however was begging, pleading with Rick to let them leave and join us. But his pleas fell on deaf ears.

"I told you this was a waste of time," Oscar cut in. This time he had his own speech but it wasn't filled with pleas and begging like Axel's and I did feel bad for them. It can't be easy just throwing out your friends like rubbish. But I didn't know them not like I knew the group I didn't trust them.

There was a debate of letting them stay but it only seemed to be T-dog in favour. I understood where he was coming from but no one agreed. I mostly stayed silent despite being asked for my opinion I was just thinking, having a debate of my own going back and forth. What Daryl said about how easily he could have been in there with them just had me thinking. I trust him with my life, I trust him more than I have ever trusted anyone else because I gave him a chance to earn it. It was the same with the rest of the group. But some had betrayed it like Shane. I wanted to give them a chance to earn the right to be trusted but you can never be certain whether they'll ever betray it.

"I'm going to head in and check on the others," I announced shoving my hands into the pockets of my jeans. My happy mood had fizzled away replaced by grim reality once more. I didn't feel like I was being useful here either. Another thing I hated. "Unless there's something else you need doing?" I added.

Rick shook his head. "No, you're good for now."

"I'll come back in a little while. To check on things," I replied and began to head inside. I noticed Daryl give me a concerned glance out of the corner of my eye but I didn't want to trouble him.

Taking a deep breath I headed back to the cellblock, trying to shake the onslaught of fear and worry of the future and what might happen to the people I care about.

By the time I entered the cell block, I was relieved to be in the cool again. It was even better to see Hershel out of bed.

"Looking good Hershel," I tried my best to smile at the man. My bad mood had settled no matter how much I wanted to feel different and be happy. I walked to stand on Hershel's other side opposite Lori in case he fell and together we went for a walk around the block.

"You doing okay Lillith? Lori questioned. Clearly, despite my effort to look even a bit happier, I was failing. I nodded in response.

"I'm good just not feeling too bright today," I replied.

"Why don't you tell Daryl, I'm sure he can help with that," Beth commented with a sly grin. I couldn't help the pink that flooded my cheeks at her comment. Both Lori and Hershel laughed whilst Carl just looked a little confused clearly not aware of the relationship.

"I'm sure he could Beth," Lori added grinning at me as he helped Hershel get down the stairs. We walked into the courtyard and Lori held me back. "If you need to talk L, I'm here." She put a hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks, Lori. But my problems can't wait for another time. We need to enjoy this." I smiled weakly.

We heard Glenn call across the yard and there was another moment of peace and content. I smiled at Daryl who smiled back. Rick was grinning at Lori and Carl then something changed. A look of panic spread across his face.

"Walkers!"

I jumped around to where Carl was now aiming his gun and ripped mine out of its holster wishing I had an extra magazine with me as I stared at the mass of walkers stumbling towards us.