Loving The Russian Mafia

Chapter 51: I would lose my mind

"Aren't you acting a bit too smart these days" He said caressing my thigh.

"I don't need to act. I'm smart" I replied grinning.

"Now I'm having second thoughts actually...maybe I should buy you this dress, you look ravishing in it, but it can only be worn in the privacy of our room" He said with a smirk.

"What do you say" He asked teasingly.

"No..." I replied chuckling and shaking my head.

After shopping, we went for lunch and then a bit more sightseeing but since I wanted to see the sunset so we returned back to the yacht before the sun was down.

Alexander suggested that we should watch the sunset from the yacht itself saying that he would sail us to the perfect point from where the sunset is breathtakingly beautiful, so hence the reason why we returned to the yacht early.

"So beautiful..." I mumbled as Ryan stood behind me with his hand resting on my waist.

"It's strange how the sun has it's own grace even while going down" I said as Ryan just hummed in reply.

Later that evening after having dinner as we sat in the peaceful silence of each others company, gazing at the stars, tearing my eyes away from the shining, mesmerising stars, I looked by my side only to see Ryan with a kind of distant look on his face.

"Hey..." I mumbled tracing my index finger on his jaw, making him look down at me.

"What's wrong" I asked concerned.

"Nothing..." He trailed off.

"It's just that...being here, on this yacht, reminds me of my dad" He said a moment later.

"This yacht was a gift from him...he even taught me how to sail..." He paused.

"And now coming back on this yacht once again reminds me of all the good memories I had with him...and at the same time coming back here also reminds me that he's not with me anymore...that I don't have a father anymore" He continued and though he tried to mask up his emotions but yet I could clearly see them in his eyes.

He terribly misses his father...he might be a grown up man now...but yet he feels incomplete without his father...he was so close to him, even more than he is close to his mother.

"I know you miss him baby...I'm so sorry for your loss..." I paused embracing him tight resting my head on his chest.

"I know the kind of pain you are going through right now...I have experienced it too and I won't tell you that someday this pain will completely vanish off, because it won't...as no matter how old we grow Ryan, we'll always feel incomplete without our parents...but it might get easier with time...we just learn to live with it...as deep down we know that death is also a part of life and there's nothing that we can do about it" I continued and sighed deeply as I recalled my father.

Ryan just hummed in reply and caressed the back of my hand with his thumb as I just smiled at his action...he knows what I'm thinking and feeling right now...but I also know that he won't ask anything about it...I mean anything related to my father's death.

This topic did came up a few times between us when we initially got together in high school but my silent reaction to it was enough for Ryan to understand that this isn't something that I'm ready to talk about yet.

But I think I'm ready now...I need to share this with someone I trust.

"Ryan..." I called out softly.

"Hmm..." He hummed a reply.

"I never told you how my father died..." I trailed off.

"Yeah. You always brushed it off" He replied with his arm still wrapped around me.