Raegan Gallagher-Milkovich

23-Loony bin

     It wasn't long before Raegan had to be admitted to the hospital. She stood at the front desk of the hospital. Ian and Mickey signed her admissions form as she stood behind them, dreading what was next.

     They both turned to her. "This is bullshit you know that?" She complained. They didn't say anything, but Mickey pulled her into his chest. "It's just 3 days Rae, you'll be out as soon as you go in."

Raegan closed her eyes as she was held tight against him, wishing that she could just stay there. When he let her go, she could tell he was upset, he of course, like Raegan would never let it show.

Then it was Ian's turn to pull her in, "It's not that bad Rae, just hang in there and it'll fly by." She appreciated them trying to make her feel better, but she was dreading this.

She forced a small smile. "Raegan Gallagher-Milkovich?" A voice came. It was a nurse, opening the door to the ward. She nodded silently towards her, and started walking towards her before Mickey grabbed her hand and pulled her back for one last hug.

     Mickey wasn't exactly good with this kind of stuff. So he held her tight one last time, before letting her go. "Bye guys," she said quietly before heading inside.

     I looked back once more to see them both watching her go, then the gate slid across, locking behind me.

***

      The first morning she woke up, blinded by the light that poured through the window onto her bed. Everything was blurry and she was dizzy. She woke up so many times like this for all different reasons.. "shit I need to stop taking shit," she muttered to herself, forgetting where she actually was.

     "Morning miss," she heard a woman's voice say. She opened her eyes but everything was still blurry. "The fuck?" She muttered.

     "How are you feeling?" She asked. She could only make out the outline of a woman, wearing white clothing and she had brown hair, everything else was too blurry to make out.

     "Where am I?" She asked. "You're in cook county children's psych hospital," she replied. Oh fuck Raegan thought to herself. She had completely forgotten.

     "Has the sedation worn off yet, are you feeling better?" The nurse asked. "No, everything is blurry and I'm dizzy as shit, the fuck did you give me?" Raegan asked.

     "Last night you had a psychotic episode, you were screaming and out of fear you would try hurt yourself or someone else, we had to sedate you," the nurse explained. Raegan was completely dumbfounded, she had no memory of being manic last night, she had only been there for less than 24 hours.

     "I don't remember," Raegan muttered. "It's just the sedation sweetheart it'll wear off soon."

     She made an effort to look around the room, she lay on the bottom bunk of a bunk bed, mostly everything was white apart from a few childish paintings of butterflies on the walls. The realisation hit that she was a patient now, in a psych ward, she was like... crazy. Fuck.

"Okay so here's your pills, and a cup of water, breakfast will be in a half hour, make sure your there in time," she said, leaving her meds on the bedside table with the water and leaving the room.

Raegan closed her eyes again. Fuck she wanted to go home, but she was stuck in a loony bin..

***

"Hey! You gotta wake up for breakfast," a voice called again. Raegan had fallen back to sleep after taking her meds. It was clearer now and when she opened her eyes she saw a girl there, with bright red hair.

"You awake?" She asked again, clicking her fingers in Raegans face. "Who are you?" She asked, sitting up slowly. "I'm Vanessa, one of your roommates but I won't be for long if you don't get up, they're weirdly strict about going to every meal time."

Raegan got up, looking at her. She was dressed the same as her, in a white t shirt and white tracksuit bottoms. She glared at Vanessa, not sure wether to talk to her or not.

Vanessa sighed, "come on, I'll show you the dining hall." She grabbed Raegans hand and guided her out of the room.

She showed her where to get breakfast, soon they were sitting face to face at a table with a food tray. There was a cheese sandwich with stale bread, a small pot of yoghurt and an apple. Raegan looked down at her tray in disgust. "Are you fucking kidding me?" She said to Vanessa.

"Don't eat the apple, they always are basically rotted. She sandwich ain't bad though," Vanessa said, already tucking into hers. "So why are you here?"

"Uh, court ordered. I'm bipolar and I robbed a place at gunpoint so they sent me here," Raegan muttered, not making eye contact with Vanessa. She couldn't shake the feeling of being completely pissed off she was thrown in here.

"Well shit, I'm schizophrenic, tried to kill my girlfriend because I thought she was a demon," Vanessa laughed. "Impressive," Raegan said sarcastically. She looked around at all the other people in the dining hall. She knew she didn't belong there.

"Gallagher-Milkovich! You have a phone call," a nurse called from the other side of the hall. She got up and walked to her quickly, putting the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hey Rae," came Frannys voice. "Oh my god hi," Raegan replied, relieved to hear a familiar voice.

"How you getting on in there rugrat?" She asked. "I mean, it's weird, I just want to get out of here if I'm honest, get home fast."

"Just hang in there for now, me and mom are gonna go with Mick and Ian to visit you tomorrow, so you have that to look forward to. The others are worried about you too, Fiona especially. Apparently Fred has this new girl he's fucking so his minds been taken up."

Raegan laughed, she was so happy to hear from her. "Sounds about right, he's a bit of a man slut isn't he."

Franny laughed through the phone back, "He is, just be good in there Rae, I'll talk to you tomorrow, love you."

"Love you too," Raegan said, hanging up the phone, wishing she could stay on the phone forever.

***

     The next day, after more shitty meals, shitty group therapy sessions and a shitty nights sleep, Raegan finally had her visitors. She followed the nurse and she saw Mickey, Ian, Debbie and Franny all standing there.

     "There's our baby Gallagher," Franny said going to hug her straight away, pulling her in tight as Raegan dug her head into her chest, not saying anything.

     Debbie went to hug her next, smiling big at her. "How've you been doing?" She asked after she pulled away. "Okay I guess," Raegan said, trying to smile.

     "Come on, sit down," she said, motioning her towards a seat. "You okay rugrat?" Mickey asked, wringing his hands together which Raegan knew meant he was nervous. "Yeah, I've been good. It's just weird. The sedation sucks."

     "I know it does, gives you oatmeal brain doesn't it," Ian said, sitting beside her and putting an arm around her. "Yeah."

     "Well, your halfway there now, you'll be okay," Debbie said. Why the fuck was everyone telling her she'd be okay? She fucking knew she would be.

     Raegans head was fried for the rest of the conversation, she was zoning in and out from the meds she was given, all the sedation. She couldn't wait for her release date.

Just for some context, I won't be writing into very much detail of Raegan in the psych ward for a few different reasons. I hope you enjoyed this chapter :))