Can't get you out of my Head

Ch.4 What do I do?

Sitting in his lap totally embarrassed to be doing so, he admired the peacefulness. It has been half a year since this all started and he was happy. Of course the weight of guilt bears down on them when they head home otherwise when they were together there problems melt away, even when they were just working.

And sometimes though they try to ignore it, there's always the thought that "good things never last" and they knew that first hand. 

"Shika, I love you." 
"I love you too." Shikamaru held onto his waist and hummed.
"You know you always say that. Whenever you get the chance."
"Really, cause I feel like I don't say it enough." He chuckled and kissed the Nara's forehead.

Suddenly Naruto looked down on him and made a slight frown. "Shika." He said turning around in his lap facing him. Shikamaru lifted his eye brow.
"Are you in the mood?" He questioned.

"No! I just...I just wanted you to hold me." The blonde blushed covering his face. Shikamaru laughed and wrapped his arms around Naruto letting him rest his head on his shoulder.
"Tell me. What's wrong." He patted his back and Naruto sighed.
"I'm scared, like really really scared. I mean I'm the god damn Hokage yet, I'm terrified."

"It's okay to be scared Naruto. You don't have to be perfect all the time, it's normal. It would be bad if you weren't scared of anything."

"I know that but I'm still so terrified. I love you a lot and I want to be with you but we're both married and have kids and responsibilities. Hinata's a good person and she doesn't deserve this. If people find out I'm afraid you'll leave me, that they'll look at me like they did before, and that I'll lose all the people I hold dear." Naruto clenched the fabric of Shikamaru's shirt. The Nara started to think about Temari, she didn't deserve this either.

'If only I..' He quickly came out of his thoughts and made Naruto face him.

"That's never going to happen." He said holding his face with both of his hands. "I'm never going to leave you. Even if everyone else does I'll stay by your side. Even if I die I'm gonna come back and stay with you forever." He kissed him and Naruto stared blankly at him.

"You sound hella cheesy." Shikamru rolled his eyes and the blonde began to laugh.

"I was trying to cheer you up and confess my undying love to you." Naruto pecked his cheek.
"Yes, thank you. I really appreciate it."

Shikamaru really adored his smile.

——————

Shikamaru sighed thinking about his recent nightmares. They were starting to become more frequent. His mood improved as he thought about the blonde who was probably waiting for him in his office.

"Good Morning." He said opening the door. When Shikamaru looked in front of him, he saw a sleep deprived blonde, with puffy red eyes, and unkept hair.

"Naruto?" He said rushing over to his side. Naruto looked exhausted, like he was fighting an army by himself. His fists were bruised and he quietly sat in his chair like a lifeless doll with a terrified expression.

Shikamru grabbed his face and turned it to himself trying to see if he was conscious.
"Naruto, what's wrong?!" He asked him. When Naruto blinked a couple times and got a good look at the Nara, life started to enter his eyes. He began to cry. 

"Shika?" Naruto called out. Right away he held the blonde in his arms. "Shika, it's all falling apart." 

His eyes widened. Shikamaru knew exactly what he meant by that. Hinata found out. 

"It'll be okay Naruto, I'm right here don't worry." He didn't have time to think about the details he had to take care of his love.
"B-but Shika...she...she's disgusted by me."