A Manacled Patient (Rare Disorder Series #2)

Chapter 6

Proposition

"You've got to try, man. She will understand. I know she will."

Napahinto ako sa paglalakad nang marinig ang usapan ng dalawang lalaki na nanggagaling sa loob ng kuwarto ni Tadeo. Ang boses ng isa ay nasisiguro kong sa pasyente ko habang ang isa naman ay marahil nanggagaling kay Sir Theo.

Nasa salas ako habang silang dalawa naman ay naroon sa loob. Bahagyang nakaawang ang pinto kaya nagagawa kong  marinig ang palitan nila ng mga salita. At base sa usapan nila ay mukhang kanina pa sila nag-uusap.

It's already lunch time and it's time for him to eat. Galing na lang sa canteen ang dala ko para kay Tadeo hindi katulad ng kanina sa almusal niyang arroz caldo na ako pa mismo ang nagluto.

Papasok na sana ako sa kuwarto niya para tawagin siya nang marinig ko ang pag-uusap ng dalawa. Wala sa intensyon ko ang makinig ngunit nadadala ako ng kuryosidad sa mga salitang naririnig mula kay Sir Theo.

"Of course she will," sagot ni Tadeo na ang dating ay sarkastiko. "But on a different scenario, she would not."

Narnig ko ang pagbuntong hininga ni Sir Theo dahil sa naging tugon ng kapatid. "You know why? Because you never let yourself be close to anyone, especially to her. Duwag ka kasi, lalo na ngayon na ganiyan ang kalagayan mo. You fear rejections, especially coming from her."

Walang akong maintindihan. Pakinggan ko man nang pakinggan ay hindi ko magawang sabayan ang nagiging takbo ng usapan nilang dalawa. Ang tanging malinaw lang na rumerehistro sa akin ay ang babaeng sentro ng usapan nila.

The way they talked sounded like they are used to this kind of conversation. Naroon ang inis ni Tadeo at naroon din ang pagtitimpi ni Sir Theo.

"No one would ever understand the broken and dysfunctional man that I am."

A surging wave of emotion consumed me with what he said. My eyes instantly went blurry with unshed tears because of the effects of his emotions that was hidden behind his words.

Gusto niya. Naririnig ko sa boses niya ang kagustuhan na sumubok muling mabuhay sa labas ng lugar na ito. Nararamdaman ko ang llihim na paghiling niya sa bagay na 'yon ngunit siya rin mismo ang pumipigil sa sarili niya dahil sa mga bagay na nagagawa ng kamay niya.

I wanted to curse his disorder. I wanted to confront the man who repeatedly hit his head that caused him to be liked this. I would never understand how he feels with his situation. I would never understand how he's coping up. His disorder is incurable. He would never be back to normal again. He would grow old stucked with his situation.

And maybe that's the reason why he shut himself out. Maybe that's what's stopping him to move forward.

"Paano kami?" mahina ang boses na tanong ni Director. "We understand you that's why we have been doing this. Dahil alam namin na may buhay pa na naghihintay sa'yo sa labas ng gusaling 'to," nanunumbat na sagot ni Sir Theo na pinipigil ang magtaas ng boses. "You still have a company to handle. Foundation, projects, scholarship programs, and a lot more. Alam kong kaya mong gawin ang mga 'yan habang nandito ka. Pero hanggang kailan, Tad?"

"You know why I am doing this."

"I know but that doesn't mean I understand. You have a disorder, fine. Your hand does things that you can't control. You can hurt yourself and you can also hurt other people. But you can still live your life. You said you're dysfunctional. The more that you need someone to be with you and assist you by your side." Ang marahas na pagbuntong hininga niya ang sunod na namutawi sa loob. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang pinipigil na galit niya sa bawat malalim na paghinga niya. "You, having that fucking disorder is not a sin, brother. Stop punishing yourself."