Ricky Noir
I had successfully ignored Alice for days. I knew once I saw her I'd crumble and wouldn't be able to handle myself. It was all sinking it now, it all felt real now.
There was a bonfire tonight down at the beach, it was an annual thing we did to kick off summer. It was also an unspoken rule that we all had to go. Alice and I would both be there and I'd finally have to face her. I wish she would avoid me but I knew she wouldn't, she never leaves her questions unanswered and I'm sure she had loads of them.
I failed to sleep these past few days, guilt consumed me to a remarkable amount. I counted down the minutes until I left, she'd know everything by the end of tonight. Alice would know every last detail, no secrets would be left untold. Even after two months, I'm not ready, not even close. I'd never be ready to watch her slip away from me, I'd be forced to watch instead.
How could I be so fucking stupid, I asked myself that question every second. I was so infatuated with the idea of loving her that I completely ignored all the secrets that would come to hurt her in the end. I was foolish, selfish, I'll scold myself everyday for what I've kept from her, every damn day.
It was a quarter after four when I got in my car and left for the beach. Trent would be there tonight, I'm sure Link would too. This would be the first time I saw him since our little fight. Link wasn't apart of the Mafia but he knows enough that he's basically apart of it, he does small jobs but has never committed. The three of us are the only ones who know, Theo doesn't know, neither does Nico, Razzle, Mandy. They'll eventually find out, I'll have to be prepared for the hell that'll raise.
Once I arrived, Trent was there to greet me. He was like a bodyguard, wherever I went he went. I noticed a figure in Trent's car, as I suspected, Link.
"I didn't think you'd show," Trent admitted and I shoved my hands in my pockets. "You're doing it tonight." He demanded, it wasn't up for debate.
I rolled my eyes, "I'll tell her when I tell her."
"If you don't tell her tonight then we will." Link interfered and struggled his way out of the car. He looked better, still bad, just not as bad as I left him.
"Are you really blackmailing me?"
"You should be thankful we didn't do it sooner."
I scoffed, "is Colton still in town?"
"He left last night, you're lucky." Link snapped at me. Maybe this was Link's revenge, me telling Alice about everything. I'm sure he'd get some satisfaction from it. I've known Colton for a few months, I knew exactly who was at Teddy and Ronnie's party, he knew exactly who I was too. It wasn't our first greeting and we hid it from Alice fairly well.
I redirected my attention to our surroundings. I searched for Alice, it wouldn't be like her not to show. No matter how much she says she hates these stupid parties, she'd never miss them. I secretly hoped she wouldn't come to night, I prayed she wouldn't come. If she were to stay home I wouldn't have to tell her anything tonight, I'd still have her for a little bit longer.
I walked away from Trent and Link and headed down to the water. I began to replay our relationship from start to finish, I admired our story within the walls of my head. I remember every last detail, even when I'm put in my grave, I'll still remember.
The night she bumped into me at the liquor store.
The night of strip beer pong.
The night I swooped in and got her money back for her.
That same night she stitched me up after my brawl.
The night of her birthday, I kissed her for the first time. I replayed that moment in my head over and over again after it happened, but I'd never tell her that.
