On the Island // Jaebeom/Jooheon

10.

Looking to my right, I lock eyes with Jaebeom. He's smiling sweetly at me. I feel bad. I haven't really spoken to him tonight.

"Hey, I need another beer, do you want one?" I ask Jooheon who is talking with Kihyun.

"No thanks. I need to go home not too late. I want to go surfing early tomorrow."

"Okay."

I scoot out of his legs and grab two beers, then go to sit next to my bff.

"What's up?" I ask handing him a beer.

"Not much. I'll probably go surfing tomorrow with the guys."

"Yeah, I know Jooheon said."

"Are you coming?"

"I will, but not as early as you guys. I'll join you a bit later. I can bring breakfast."

"Cool."

"Listen. Is it... weird?"

"What is?"

"I don't know. I feel like I have to split myself in half to spent time with him and time with you." He wraps his arm around me and rubs my shoulder with a reassuring smile.

"It's fine. You're doing great."

"Was it like that for you too? Or is it just me?"

"Well, I don't think Stasia was a good example."

"Why?"

"As I said before, she was just... there. She never complained when I was saying I wanted to see you." I don't know why but him saying that he 'wanted to see me' gives me chills. "I'm fine. You do what you need to do to be happy. Jooheon is a summer break thing. Enjoy it. I'm here to stay."

"His campus is on the other side of the avenue from mine."

"So... you think it might last?"

"You don't?"

"I don't know. I just assumed it was not serious." I scoff as I feel a bit embarrassed.

"Haha! I don't know." He looks at me suspiciously. "I met the guy 24h ago. How could I know?! I'm just saying, who knows?"

I often get carried away in my emotions but, even though I wish for things to happen, I am very realistic and I don't live in my fantasies.

"So you really like him." I don't feel like I can be fully honest with him. Yes, he's perfect, considering I can't have the man I want.

"Right now, as you said, he's a summer break thing. We'll see."

We sit there together, both drinking, focusing on the flames, in silence, yet feeling close. As usual, we don't have to talk or do something to feel like we are spending some quality time. And I know it's not just me because every so often I look up at him and find him smiling back at me. This complicit smile that reassures me, that grounds me. That 'every thing is gonna be ok', 'I'm here for you' smile.

It is close to midnight and Jooheon, who had been moving from group to group to talk and enjoy himself, joins the both of us.

"Hey beautiful, I'm gonna head off."

"We should go too. We need to set off early tomorrow." Jaebeom says.

Jooheon offers to carry the empty beer bottles back in the pack, while talking to Nara and Kihyun in front of us. Jaebeom walks next to me and wraps my neck in his elbow before whispering.

"I'm really surprised."

"By what?" I say holding his hand hanging off my shoulder.

"I would have never guessed Jooheon was your type."

"What? Handsome, athletic, crazy eye smile, kind, funny, witty." I don't talk about dimples and his extrovert side because I am basically describing Jaebeom. He looks at me and I wonder if he knows what I'm saying. "What kind of guy did you think was my type?"

"I don't know. Classic. Proper." I laugh.

"Uptight? Really? Why?"

"You're... you know."

"I'm what?" Where is he going?

"You're nice, not weird or damaged. You're educated, clever, well-mannered."

"So I deserved an uptight boring dude?" He's making me laugh.

"That's not what I meant."

"I've always had a thing for funny guys, bad boys and tortured souls. I am sure there is some psychological explanation for this."

"Ok. My bad. You deserve whoever makes you happy."

"I'm happy right now." I say looking up at him, holding onto his waist as we walk. All he does is smiling back fondly. Why do I keep on throwing him ropes that he doesn't grasp?

Back at camp, we say goodnight to Nara and Kihyun. Her sister stayed behind with Shownu. The boys go back to the tent and I walk Jooheon back to his car, still on the outer carpark.

He leans against it and pulls me against him softly as I nestle against his chest.

"Spend the day with me tomorrow, I'm not working."

"I am bringing you guys breakfast on the beach. I know you'll be leaving early."

"I mean after that. Come to my place. Have lunch with me. I'll cook for you and we can spend the rest of the day together. We have a swimming pool."

"'We' as in your parents?" I start to stress thinking I might meet them.

"They're not there. It's just me." And breathe.

"Okay. Let's do that. But Im seeing the boys in the evening. I leave on Monday so..."

"Let's have a barbecue at mine in the evening with them then."

"Sounds good."

"Can I just throw something out there?"

"Of course."

"Your relationship with Jaebeom is..." He pauses, and I can tell he's questioning whether or not he should continue.

"Are you jealous?"

"No! It's just weird that you're that close."

"Why? Is it because he's a guy?"

"I'll be honest. Yes. I'm not usually sexist but... I don't know. I feel that maybe there is something."

"There is nothing." To my disappointment. "We're just friends. Close friends. I was the friend he needed when he broke up with his ex. I was the friend who supported him when his dad left and his mum was not coping. We became really close. He knows I'm here for him. Always."

"That's one thing but the way he is with you."

"He's protective. Are you intimidated?"

"No!" He seriously says straightening, as if I was questioning his manhood. He's funny when insecure.

"Good. You shouldn't be." I say kissing him.

He holds me close and treats me with his silky lips. In the darkness, he looks at me and I can see his sweet smile.

"I can't wait to spend the day with you tomorrow." He says before I pec his cute little face, he's so perfect.

"Go home. Get some rest."

"Bye." One last pec.

He jumps in his car and as I walk back, after waving at him, I can hear his car making a right racket. I laugh at his frozen face. He quickly disappears, too conscious he will wake the whole campsite if he stays any longer.