Go Within * Connection to Your Inner Self

The Connection: Forgiveness

Forgiveness (self and others)

This is not an easy one. Many like to hold on to their grudges of others or just can't come to forgive themselves for past discretions. I believe I can go as far to say that every single human that walks the planet and who has ever walked this planet has experienced betrayal. Most likely not as a one time occurrence, but multiple times.

Forgiveness will free you from what is holding you back from your potential. Free you from the stories you keep telling yourself that have no relevance in your current life. Free you from comparing new relationships with old relationships. Free you from the wall that you created to prevent yourself from being hurt again. A wall that doesn't allow you to feel fully engaged in most areas of your life. You see to forgive there has to be a fundamental change to the way you respond to an unjust or hurtful act by some offender. This requires forgiveness of others' offenses as much as forgiveness for your own. Sometimes the person you will have the hardest time forgiving is yourself.

Imagine having no anger toward another, fully letting go of the hurt and anger that developed from others engaging in a behavior that left you very hurt. Each time you experienced a betrayal, you swore it wouldn't happen to you again. You add another brick to the wall that is protecting yourself and you prevent your inner growth. What does it mean to forgive someone or yourself? To forgive someone you would no longer feel angry toward them. It's about letting go of the hurt. They most likely hurt you because they themselves are in some form of pain. Holding on to the anger, hate, vengeful thoughts, or blame are only going to keep you stunted. It's time to let it go, so that you may move on.

Generally, it is harder to forgive yourself than anyone else. Sometimes your anger directed toward someone else is you being unable to forgive yourself. If you were in a bad relationship, you are most likely upset with the person for treating you poorly, but deep down you may be upset with yourself for having been in the bad relationship. It may be upsetting to you that you were in the relationship in the first place or for staying in it too long. It is time to forgive.

Use the space on the next page to write down who you need to forgive and for what you need to forgive and why, then allow yourself some time to sit with the feelings that you have around these people and situations, even if you need to cry. Then offer your forgiveness to yourself or to others by actually telling yourself that you forgive. After you tell yourself to forgive, feel the forgiveness. If there is someone specific you have to forgive, this doesn't mean you have to contact them and tell them that you forgive them. It is fine if you do, but this is not necessary. This process is for yourself, to release the pain and anger that you feel and allow yourself to open up to your potential.