Go Within * Connection to Your Inner Self

Internal vs. External Work

Internal changes are rarely the focus, but necessary.

We are generally not encouraged to make changes from within on a broader level. We are encouraged for being externally action-oriented, as indicated by my examples, find a new job, try out this workout/diet plan or leave your significant other and find a new person. I am not disregarding the action needed to be taken. What I am suggesting is shifting the focus from the external focus and move toward making internal action a priority. Working on your Inner Self is what will result in fundamental changes and those changes will move you to make decisions to begin engaging in behaviors that will bring about the external things you wish to experience.

There is very little emphasis on going within, working on yourself internally and then seeing how those changes bring about the external changes that you were hoping to experience. Think of it this way, when you go inward and make changes to your own internal experience, there is no other choice than for the external to change with little effort. The external will change because it represents how you feel internally. If you love yourself, you see love around you. If you dislike yourself, you see others disliking you. We tend to confirm our thoughts and feelings using our external world. In psychology, this is referred to as confirmation bias. The tendency to perceive and recall things around you that support your existing thoughts and beliefs. Two people may walk into a room and walk back out with two different views on the experience entirely based on their own feelings, thoughts and beliefs before even entering the room. Confirmation bias tells us that we will seek out things that will confirm or validate what we think and believe. Someone who believes that most people are kind and caring will experience many situations in which people treat them with kindness. On the contrary, someone who believes most people are mean and rude will encounter many situations in which people will treat them unkindly. Not only do we perceive what matches our beliefs, but we bring to us how we are thinking and feeling. Have you noticed that if you are thinking negatively you most likely act negatively, and people will respond to you in a negative manner? Conversely, if you think positively you most likely act positively and people will respond to you in a positive manner.

It is easy for people to turn the confirmation bias examples into blaming others. You may think to yourself or say out loud, "these people are rude" or "they are always treating me with disrespect". It is important not to turn the blame on others for what is not right in your life. It is also important to stop yourself from spending time trying to change others with the intention that it will make your life better. This has a slim chance of working. If you try to change someone else and they don't want to change, they will resent you or you will create unnecessary negative emotion for yourself from the effort you put toward that person that resulted in no change. Instead go internal and realign with your Inner Self. This will move you toward your potential and you will begin to experience more joy and peace in your life.

Do Onto Self How You Want Others To Do Onto You.

A very crucial element of this internal process is having compassion for yourself. It is important to understand that wherever you are currently in your life, you are in the right place. If you're disconnected from your Inner Self, that is OK, what is important is to reconnect. Your own lack of forgiveness may stand in your way of connecting back to your Inner Self. Not because the Inner Self doesn't want to reconnect, but because you are blocking the connection with the shame, guilt and lack of forgiveness. You are resisting the connection, but you do not need to do that any longer.

****Be ready to experience delays in your external world. When you are working internally, you are shifting your energy toward being connected to your Inner Self. Some things may come up that are not comfortable and/or you may have resistance to the change. As mentioned previously, when you are living disconnected you are living and experiencing others' expectations, beliefs and judgment. Whereas you should be navigating your life based on what is right for you. With that in mind, when you start to go inward you may become frustrated with the timing of change in your life. You will move forward at times, slip back into a possible negative state, then move forward again. This is a process, it is not linear. This is shifting your perspective and you will come upon feelings and thoughts that you may not have been aware existed and have to feel them and release them. You are fundamentally changing the way that you operate in your day-to-day experience. You will notice you will start to see things clearer, your anxiety and stress levels will reduce. You will notice that your negative feelings will start to become less and less. They won't last as long as they normally do. You may have some difficult hours during the day or week, but when you apply the techniques you will feel it and release it and move forward. Do not become upset when you have a bad day. This is going to happen. This will happen the rest of your life. The goal of moving toward being connected and living internally is to create a life that is meaningful and will lead to your potential. This is a practice, just like when you are trying to have a healthy, fit body. It will not happen overnight and will be a practice you consistently engage in to make and maintain the change. I can tell you, as you learn more about yourself, you are going to find the YOU that you love and you will be excited to discover the power that you have and the life that you are able to lead.****