Misfits Series #2: Clear Your Heart

Questions

I took a single step into the stage when my heart started to beat uncontrollably.

Even with the continues pain in my feet, I walked with my head up, facing the enormous crowd. I walked with confidence, minding not myself but the people around me who looked at me with . . . such admiration that I’ve never seen before.

Though . . . there’s still others who laughed and made fun of me, the way I looked, dressed— and everything about me, but, at least for now . . . it doesn’t matter, because I matter, what I think about me is all that matter, diba?

I looked for my parents, expecting both of them but I was hopeless, I saw only my father, waving the flowers as he shouts my name, “You are the best Akira!”

And out of all the voices and names they’ve cheered, I heard the voices of my three fans cheering me tirelessly. “Go Akira! Go Akira! Wala siyang paki sa sinasabi ng iba, go, go . . . go, go, go!”  Is the best.

Because of the courage they gave me, I never felt the pain, giving me this power to execute everything with absolute resolute, kaya ko, kakayanin ko. Isn’t it just the best knowing that someone is there for you . . .

Matapos ang ilang pag-rampa, pag-ikot at pag-ngiti ay sawakas natapos na rin, though I’m already so exhausted even though this is not even the real pageant . . . kung ngayon hirap na hirap na ako, ano pa ang mangyayari bukas?

Already exhausted, I sat down by the corner, removed my heels, with a few traces of blood inside of it. My friends along with my father walked up to me shocked as they witness my current state; a mess. “Anak! Ano’ng nangyari?” Tumingin ang tatlo sa isa’t isa na para bang kilala na nito kung sino ang may sala.

“One, two— Sheena!” While all of them synced up with each other, I breathed only a sigh.

“Yes, malaki galit niya sa akin— sobrang laki pala, pero kahit ganoon, don’t blame it on her, hindi lang naman siya ang may kayang gumawa sa akin no’n.”

They all stared as my father anxiously covers my wound.“ Alam mo, you’re so lucky! Your father is here that—” My father looked at Stephanie’s sudden praise, chucking.

“I’m in the same team as you, don’t worry, alam kong may pagkaloka-loka itong anak ko,” he said as I pout for a second before lightly punching him in the shoulder.
“I sometimes don’t understand Akira, I mean she’s half kind, half dumb— can’t change my mind about that!” The three boys chuckled, as Stephanie helps me stand up.

“Asan si Ma?” I asked which caught my father off guard. “Your— mother? She’s just you know— busy,” he replied jokingly, yet it was never funny, at least for me.

A part of me was just disappointed, knowing that today is Sunday, it’s mom’s day-off. I hope you just lied better, Pa.

As I try to walk, everything started to hurt again, ngayon ko lang nakita na ganito ka-concern si papa. “Satingin mo kakayanin mo pa bukas, ’Nak?”

“Guys, pwede niyo ba itanong sa teacher kung saan ilalagay ’yong dress na gagamitin bukas? Kasi ang sabi sa akin iiwan na lang dito, and nga pala paki lagay na rin ah, salamat!” Tumango sila sa at lumabas, at tanging kami nalang ni papa ang naiwan.

“Pa, this is the first time—” Without letting me finish he hugged me tightly.

“I know Akira, if it wasn’t for your friends who forced me to watch you, I wouldn’t had come, and I would’ve had regretted it.” I was left speechless by his sincerity, because he knew it himself that he and mother . . . never gave me the mother and father that I needed.