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Harry i standing over the stove making some italian chicken and brussel sprouts for our "pregnancy friendly" dinner.
He has been in a good mood ever since we got back from the doctors. He has been carrying our daughters ultrasound photos with her everywhere he has gone today. It was hard, I almost had to tackle him but I eventually got the photos away from him so I could frame them. I wanted to keep them so I could put them in the nursery when we got around to putting that together but Harry just wanted to keep them to himself.
Harry shuffles over with two plates for us as we sit at the island. I have been forcing myself to eat more. This isn't just about me anymore so I need to make sure I'm getting enough so our daughter will be healthy.
"So what do ya wanna do for Halloween?" Harry ask me as he takes a bite of his food. "There isn't much I can do really except passing out candy to trick-or-treaters. If you want to go do something though you can."
"I'm not gonna leave you home alone babe."
"No seriously Harry if you want to go out then please go, you deserve a break." In all seriousness I want him to go out. He is home with me every night and he is dedicated to me, I trust him. I continue eating as Harry begins to talk again.
"Well Soph was actually throwing a-" My face dropped just a bit, Harry noticed straight away and stopped talking.
"What?"
"Nothing, what were you saying?"
"Uhm I was just saying that Soph had invited us to a Halloween party." He talks cautiously and slowly.
I hum in response not wanting to say a word. He could go to any party, really. He could go do anything, he is a grown man, I'm not going to dictate who he can and can't hang out with. But he would take this opportunity to go be with Sophia.
"Are you mad at me?" He ask me now obviously not liking my lack of words.
"No why would I be mad at you?" I'm not mad at him. I just don't like talking about her, ever.
"Well you say I can go out and then get upset when I just tell you about a party that both of us were invited to." He looks back down at his food and begins to eat again.
"Did she invite both of us or did she invite you?"
"She invited both of us." He shakes his head a bit and smiles like I sound stupid. Like this is amusing to him.
"What did she say when she invited us?"
"She said word-for-word 'I'm having my annual Halloween party and I was just calling to invite you'." He tells me mimicking her perky voice making me laugh very hard but I stop myself so I can get my point across.
"Do you hear yourself when you speak. You literally said 'I was just calling to invite you' meaning you, Harry Styles, not me."
"Anything that is for me or about me if for you and about you too. You've got to start understanding that." We both finish off our plates and he grabs mine and takes both of them to the sink to wash.
"But do you see my issues with that at all? She obviously likes you." Harry dramatically turns his head in my direction and has an expression plastered on his face like I was insane.
"Soph and I have been friends for years! I'm sure if she liked me I would have known."
"You're telling me you have never once picked up on the fact that she hates me and always wants to be near you? Like not even once?" I don't think he is this dense. Oh my God. Is he that dense?
"No. There has not been a single time I thought that."
"Okay so she has never once brought herself on you?"
"Maybe once or twice but only when she was drunk so it didn't mean anything."
As the words come out of his mouth he finally comes to realization. A small 'o' forms on his mouth as he puts all the puzzle piece together.
"It doesn't mean anything though, I don't like her."
"It doesn't matter if you don't like her, it only takes you two to get drunk and bam! She is pregnant too and now you are the baby daddy of two different kids." Am I stretching this? Yes. But I literally cannot control what I'm saying and how I'm saying it. I don't know why my emotions are all over the place. I want to scream and cry right now but also I just want a hug and want to go to sleep.
I get up from my stool and grab a blanket for the couch. I fall back on the couch and start scrolling through the tv channels to see what is on.
"Juliette what the hell are you even talking about." Harry follows quickly behind me sitting on the coffee table in front of me.
"Nothing really, I'm just rambling."
"Have I ever done anything to make you think I was gonna cheat on you?" He lets out a deep breath, he looks defeated.
See, this is why he needs a break. You can only take so much until you break. He needs a break from me.
"No, you haven't done a single thing wrong ever. I'm just projecting my own insecurities on you. I'm tired."
"Okay get up I'll help you to bed." He stands up and holds his hands out for me to take with a small smile.
I graciously accept his offer as he guides me to the bedroom and lays me down. He turns around to move to the other side of the bed so he could stay with me.
*****
"No they didn't actually do that!" Harry exclaimed looking absolutely horrified of the story I was telling him.
"Yeah it was brutal out there, kids are mean." I was telling Harry a story about when we would have group tennis practices as a kid, the worst boy there would get literally pinned up to a wall and the others would chuck tennis balls on him. I don't even know how they just decided this game but the worst part is that they all liked it. Like even the one getting beat up. It was weird.
"I never thought the tennis community was so violent, I thought it was like you go practice and then go get tea."
"Oh god no, we all had to practice for hours on end and then people would bet on us like horses, that's how you increase your wealth. I always had high bidders so my mom would always push me to keep going until I was about to pass out on court."
"Babe that sounds absolutely terrible, I hope you know that we are never doing that to our daughter. We don't need her to go through that."
"You know, you are gonna make a great dad."
"Really? You think so?" A large smile appears on his face. He has expressed his worry about not being good enough for our daughter since we found out. His dad left him and now he thinks because of his fathers actions, that's gonna dictate his future actions.
"I do, you are going to be the best dad ever." I mean that full-heartedly.
He pulls me in closer to him so he can give a hug and kiss me.
"I'm sorry for being rude earlier. It was uncalled for, I'm sorry." I mumble out wrapped in his arms.
"It's okay, I get it. Don't apologize doll, it's normal to get jealous. Especially when your boyfriend is this hot." He does a little hair flip and I roll my eyes at his idiocy.
"Your ego is showing Harry."
He gasp at my comment and puts his hand on his mouth. "Me? Ego? You have the wrong man, my love."
"Go give your ego to Sophia." I laugh as he tightens his grip on me.
"Nooo I want you to have my ego," he pouts "just you love, only you."
