Ruined ll Book 1

Gone

I feel my chest tighten as I remembered the memory like if it was yesterday. 

"They never came to visit me, when I was in Juvie." He says, finally speaking up. 

"They never fucking came, not once to tell me that it wasn't my fault. They never came to tell me that they were sorry it was their fault that money was an issue." He said, tightly shutting his eyes. I hear his teeth grind together. 

"There gone?" I asked him quietly. I hear him breathe out in relief as I rubbed circles on his back.  Slowly turning to face me, he gave me a small smile. 

"As they should be" 

--End of Flashback--

I turn around glancing at his pathetic mother that was shamelessly wiping her eyes with a tissue. His Dad looked straight ahead, not a tear shed upon his face. 

They never went to visit him. 

But they came to throw his ashes away. 

I turn back around, seeing Gray walk off the small platform. No one made a move to say another speech. I shut my eyes as I stood up, making my way up the two thin steps.  I stared down on the lectern, my eyes darted to my shaking hands that gripped the edge. 

My insecurities poked at my bloodshot eyes, red cheeks and my messy hair that the wind blew everywhere.  

"I probably look like shit" I say, lifting my gaze up. I hear people chuckle quietly at my comment before soon being drowned out. 

"Fenix........... was my best friend. I loved him very much" I say quietly.  My gaze falls upon the silver line that surrounded the brown urn. 

"He was my other half but not in that way" I say, returning my attention back over to the audience. 

"He's been my best friend since we were both eleven or so" 

"But let me tell you, young Fenix was full of knowledge. That fucker was wise" I say chuckling. Chuckles echoed around us as the wind blew at my hair from behind.  

"Sometimes, he world makes us grow up fast."

"He once told me, dreams are just a reality that we wish we lived in" I say, my smile disappearing as I lowered my gaze. I grimaced as I tried holding back tears. 

"Gosh, this is a fucking nightmare" I cried out as I laid a palm across my face, partially covering my eyes. I breathed out as I composed myself. 

"Fenix was a good person, deep down. He always was. He wouldn't say it, but deep down I knew he had forgiven the ones who wronged him" I say, glancing to his parents direction. His mother quickly looked away but his father. 

His father still sat there emotionless. 

Anger boiled inside me as I tried restraining myself from walking off the stage and punching him in the face. I looked away and stared at the urn, praying for Fenix to do something. 

"I never thought I'd lose my best friend at the age of eighteen" I paused as a sad smile creeped onto my face. 

"He would always make fun of me, being a year younger than him. I remember when I was twelve, he was thirteen. A kid smacked me in the face with a soccer ball by accident and Fenix ran over there" A chuckle echoed out of me as I dove my hand in front of me, demonstrating the way he dove towards the kid.

"And socked him in the throat, yelling, 'How did that feel' " Chuckles erupted throughout the room as I settled down. 

"He was my knight. He was the one who saved the damsel in distress." I say more quietly.