Warm Changes (Seasons of Love Series #4)

PROLOGUE

"Come on Sabby! Naghihintay na sa 'yo si Kuya Kevin!"

I ran as fast as I could when I heard my Mom call my name. It's time to go to school again, I'm excited because it's my first day as a 3rd grade student.

"Mama! I'm here!" She gave me a quick hug before looking around, she's being cautious again.

"Take care okay? Bye!" She kissed the top of my head before going inside our house again.

"Tara na po Ms. Sabrina?"

I smiled widely, "let's go na Kuya Kevs!"

I can still remember how cheerful I am, I can still remember how hyper I could be every day. I'm like everybody's toy at home, they always love it when I sing and dance around. That house screams happiness, that house screams perfection. Or so I thought.

"Hello! I'm Sabrina, you are?" I asked a little girl that has pig tails, with colorful hair clips.

"Erika," she answered shyly, "Eka nalang."

"Hello Eka, we're friends now."

Those were the last times that I remember being that jolly. Those were the last times that I remember being the child of my Mother. Because when I turned turn eleven, everything changed.

"Mama, saan po tayo pupunta?" Maglalaro sana kami ngayon ni Eka sa bahay dahil may bagong binili sa 'kin sina Lolo at Lola na toys pero sabi ni Mama aalis kami at tatlong araw kaming mawawala.

"Basta, stay with your Nanay Luz," tinulak niya na ako palapit kay Nanay Luz. Agad naman akong yumakap sakaniya, si Nanay Luz ang nag aalaga sa 'kin mula pagkabata dahil laging busy si Mama.

The moment we step inside the Airport, reporters and photographers flock around her. And I stayed here, far from her, just seeing her from afar is enough already.

"Ayos ka lang ba 'nak?" Tanong ni Nanay Luz.

"Oo naman po, basta masaya si Mama. Saka alam ko naman po na kaya hindi ako dapat makita ng media ay para rin hindi nila ako guluhin," malungkot na ngiti lang ang binigay niya sa 'kin.

Napatingin ako ulit sa gawi ni Mama, she has this radiant smile. Ganiyan siya kasaya sa harap ng camera, and I want her to stay that way. Kahit pa itago niya ako ayos lang, basta ikakasaya niya.

Lingid sa kaalaman ng lahat, ang iniidolo nilang si Genevieve Tedera ay may anak na. But I have to be kept secret for her career to continue, and I don't have the heart to ruin that.

"Mama, bakit tayo pumunta rito? Mag babakasyon po tayo?" I asked her as soon as we land on US.

"No anak," she bend down, "we're here to meet your Dad."

Tanging tango lang ang naibigay ko kay Mama, I don't know what to say. It's been eleven years since I was born and I've never met him. Mama will always say that he's just busy and all, but I always question that. I mean, is he really that busy? He didn't even say Hi or Hello to his own daughter that's been looking for him for years.

I'm okay with us two, I don't think I'll be needing him. But for formality sake, I will meet him. For Mama.

We went inside this restaurant, straight to the vip room. We waited for like twenty minutes before a man on a suit came inside. He look strict and scary, his presence screams power.

"Kenneth," hahalik na sana si Mama sakaniya pero umiwas ito saka tumingin sa 'kin, nag iwas ako ng tingin dahil natatakot ako sa tingin niya.

Tumingin din sa 'kin si Mama, "Sabby come here," inabot ko ang kamay ni Mama na nakalahad, "Kenneth, this is Sabrina," hinawakan ako ni Mama sa balikat saka nilagay sa harap niya, "Sabrina, this is your Dad."

I was about to say hi when he slammed his hands on the table, I jumped a little, "what is this Genevieve? I thought," I looked up to him, he's also looking at me. He then moved closer to Mama to whisper something, "I thought you killed that child?"

My hands went cold, this is the first time I hated having sharp hearing.

"Kenneth!" She was about to protest, but he didn't let her. And I just stood there, helpless. Not knowing what to do.

"Hindi ko alam kung anong gusto mo at pinakilala mo pa siya sa 'kin, kung gusto mong tustusan ko siya gagawin ko. Kung gusto mong pagka gastusan ko 'yan, gagawin ko. Pero 'wag na 'wag mong ibibigay sa 'kin 'yan, maayos na kami ni Tessa ngayon. Napatawad niya na ako sa nagawa ko noon, hindi ko hahayaan na 'yang batang 'yan ang sisira sa relasyong inaayos ko!"

I want to scream, I want to say something but I couldn't. My heart is aching so much, I feel like it's being squeezed. I understand perfectly, I understand the situation. Clear as the sky, but it wasn't my fault. So why am I hurting now?

"Please Kenneth, apelyido mo ang gamit niya. Hindi rin siya pwede na makitang kasama ako sa Pilipinas. Masisira ang career ko!"

"Wala akong pakialam kung pinagamit mo ang apelyido ko sa batang 'yan, hindi ko siya tatanggapin!" His voice was firm, no one — nobody could change his mind about me.

"Nagkamali tayo ng gabing 'yon, hindi natin sinasadya. Sinabi ko na sa 'yo na huwag mo na ituloy! Ngayon na nariyan na, ipapaako mo sa 'kin? Bahala ka! Hindi ko nalang din tutustusan 'yan, hindi ko 'yan anak."

After he said that, he left. Right there and then, I know things will be different. Things around me will change, drastically.

Change that I will never want to accept, not in this life.

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I dedicate this story to all those people who are having silent battles, I hope one day you will be able to overcome it and will be able to find someone who will listen and understand you.