Unpredictable • cth

48

Ella

*flashback*

"What the hell did you just say?" My father spat, every ounce of drunken stupity has successfully slipped away, though it should have been gone sooner.

"I-uh" I was stammering, barely moving my lips in fear of what was going to come out of my mouth.

"You what?" He was trying so hard not to yell at me. I could tell that he was pissed off for obvious reasons and I could tell that he was beyond hurt by my words.

"Uh, nothing. Yup, yup." I quipped, my eyes doing everything in my power to avoid his own.

He knew I was bullshitting, he knew he couldn't get pissed, he knew he wanted to bite my head off and send me to my room like I was five. I knew him too well.

"I'm going to ask you again." He stated. "Calmly." He added after taking a deep breath.

We both gulped, either of us staring. I knew people were mumbling and murmuring behind us and the word part was is it was my family, the only people I genuinely care about heard and saw what I had just done.

"What the fuck did you just say to me Ella Mali." God it wasn't even a question anymore, he was demanding me to say my hurtful words again.

I'm one shitty ass daughter.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry dad. Please I didn't mean to get drunk, hell you saw me I didn't even want to take the shot and I didn't-"

"What did you say to me." He spoke again, same demanding sentiment but with a softer tone, if that's even possible.

"I said," taking a deep breath "why would I listen to you since you will just leave again."

I am throughly surprised as to how clear I spoke, how I kept my eyes trained on his own. He didn't look as taken aback as he did the first time I said it, rather his lips fell into a thin line, his eyes bouncing around as he scanned the people behind my own body.

He looked like he was boiling under his skin. His face was red, beat and utter red, with his hands balled up by his sides in fists. He would never put a hand on me, but he was sure as hell going to punch something if I didn't shut up.

"But I didn't -"

"Right Ella, of course you didn't mean it. Your 18, no fuck, your 17 and your drunk, then on top of all of that you have emotional issues when it comes to us leaving. I thought we talked about not using this shit to cope."

My father has never been this blunt, ever. I can feel my jaw fall to ground as he, well he wasn't yelling but he wasn't exactly just sitting and talking to me. I had no words if you want me to be honest I don't think he wants me to talk.

"But you know better than anyone in this room why you shouldn't cope like that. I mean you've grown up a shit ton quicker than I would have liked when you found your mother and then you found your uncle, like damn it Ella, do you think?"

"I-"

"Tell me do you! Because right this second your standing in front of me hammered like a nail and your telling me off like you don't realize i'm your fucking father. So tell me now Ella, do you think?"

"But-"

"The answer is no, no you don't. You are supposed to the the smart one out of you four, ya know that? You have always been the smart one, the good girl, the one that we all put before everyone else because you are Ella, my baby girl Ella. But now your being beyond irresponsible, you are proving to me that you are in fact no where near grown."