Euphoric | Peter Parker

33 - Feeling Things

I had to confess. I held my bandaged hands to my chest and turned away as I spoke. I was too ashamed to even look at him.
"I did this to me," I answered quietly.

"Huh?"

"At Liz's party I was taken by a sorcerer named Doctor Strange and he helped me regain my abilities by helping me to release the electricity that I had absorbed."

"Regain?" He questioned, "What do you mean by regain?"

I turned back and faced him. I knew this moment would come. "Do we have to discuss this tonight?"

"Yes," He replied sternly.

I sighed as I continued. "I lost my abilities whenever I had my headache, okay? Apparently all of that electricity was overwhelming my body and wasn't actually keeping me alive, but instead slowly killing me. But there is nothing to worry about now because I have them back."

I gave him my best reassuring smile to try to convince him everything was fine, but his eyes grew wide from my response, meaning he didn't take it as I wanted him to. For the next few seconds I watched as his expression went from shock, to anger, to what I assumed was worry.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He finally said. He inched his way towards me as he gently grasped my arms and inspected the bandages.
Good thing he couldn't see what was underneath them.

"I didn't want to worry you," I whispered as I pulled my wounded arms away.

"That's a pretty big deal though, Alger! You could have told me." He responded with his voice raised.

"And then what would've happened, Peter?" I motioned towards him with my hands, "I am here to protect you!"

"Will you stop viewing me as if I am some defenseless puppy?"

I scoffed at his comment. "I don't see you as a dog-"

"That's not what I mean! I am capable of taking care of myself and being able to protect you!"

"I was told by Aloysis to come here and to keep you from danger," I reminded him, "And I intend on doing that!"

"And by that you think that I can't do anything on my own? Alger, I had to watch you die," His voice cracked as his voice flooded with emotion, "Your brother made me see all the horrific things that happened to you as a child inside of my head. I want to protect you!"

I was stunned. His face was red from yelling as he stared at me. I hung my head as he took a step closer. I couldn't understand why, but hearing him breathing made me want to burst into tears.

"I'm sorry," I choked out, "You've had to go through so much stuff because of me."

"Don't apologize. I'm..." He trailed off.

I looked up at him and felt a shiver go down my spine as I noticed the tears that were welded up in his eyes.

"Alger," He continued on, "I'm glad I bumped into you that day on the street."

I smiled. "Me too."

He sighed as he lingered only inches away from my face. His stare was so intense that I wanted to back away, but something was keeping me there, frozen.
I didn't need my seismic sense to notice how fast both of our hearts were thumping.

"We should probably go to sleep," He finally said.

"Yeah," I agreed.

Yet, neither of us moved. I didn't want to. I felt the exact same way as I did before I had died: I wanted to be kissed. It was an emotion that was foreign to me, but I knew it was what I wanted. But I knew that it wasn't something that Peter wanted anymore, so I was the first one to pull away.
I slowly walked around him and grabbed my bag off of the floor. I dug around for something to change into and stopped when Peter cleared his throat.

"Need some pajamas?" He asked with his voice cracking at the end.

I nodded my head and he spun around and quickly pulled open his drawers and threw me a pair of green and red checkered pants and a black shirt. He left the room and I began to change.

I never felt more heavy with burden in my entire life. All the emotions were pushing down on me so hard that I was convinced my body could crack and fall through the concrete slab floor that Peter had covered with carpet. My feet felt weighted down as I slowly put on the checkered pants underneath the dress. I could hear Peter speaking to aunt May about the party as I slid the dress over my head and dropped it onto the floor. I quickly put the shirt on as I accidentally caught a glimpse of my scarred torso and horrid appearance in the mirror on the closet door and winced when my fingers weren't fully bending like I expected them to. I didn't want to bother with how I looked or felt at the moment.
Though, why was I feeling so...sad by Peter's reaction to me? Everything felt very overwhelming and hard to ignore. I just got my abilities back, Peter was upset with me and his heart sped up. I thought his heart only sped up for Liz now? Maybe it was just due to his anger. Maybe the overwhelming sensation from everything that has occurred has caused me to overthink?
I should just go to bed.
I shoved the dress into my bag to give to Peter later and I climbed up into the top bunk by mostly using my legs as my hands were unable to completely grasp anything with the bandages, and completely covered myself with the blanket and placed the pillow over my head as I curled up and wrapped my arms around my knees.

Tomorrow will be better.