Chapter 23 - Lashing Back

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(Yin)

    Why in the world would he do that to Yang? Why in the world would he do that to me? Is he really just trying to make us both suffer as much as possible?
    A few days ago, he just tossed Yang into this stupid cell and didn't say anything. She couldn't move, and she was gasping for air quietly. There were bruises, glowing cyan stuff, like magic, and cracks, just like Cizen's, but a lot thinner. I ran over and asked her what had happened, and she just asked to be healed. She might have said something about doing it to me once. It must have been that time Cizen blew my head off.
    I didn't know what she did to heal me back then, but I tried. I don't remember how I had healed before but I assume it was just concentrating on my hands or something. During that time, I felt helpless and worthless trying to heal her. I thought she was going to die.
    She had collapsed, I felt her head fall onto my hand, and I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to ask Cizen for help, but he would probably be the only person who can fix her. He did this to her, he should be able to revert it.
    What would happen if it's as serious as the other incident that happened with Cizen? He did it, but he wasn't able to fix me without the help of Yang. Now, she's not here, and I cannot save her.
    I cried, and held Yang in my arms, still limp, until Cizen came back. He probably wanted me to heal her. It's too bad that I failed. It probably surprised him that I couldn't heal. He had opened the door and took her away.
    Tears of grief had turned into tears of anger, and I didn't sleep that night. My mind was haunted with thoughts. Cizen probably used her as a test dummy. To make us both suffer. I would have probably died if he treated me like that because I was too fragile. That's what Yang heard from Cizen.
    Or maybe, just maybe it was another side effect. Everything's just a side effect, just like our eyes, because when he took out all of our guts, he replaced our eyes. How do you even do that? I hate to blink now, it feels weird. Anyways, maybe my ineffective healing was just caused by another stupid side effect. It should work, but now it doesn't. Why did he have to do that to us?
    Yang is always asking me questions, and I only sometimes have the answers. Now, I'm the one with questions, but no one trustworthy enough to answer them. It's kind of funny if you think about it. Cizen would always have the answers though, but he always hides them.
I also know I'm forgetting things, but I don't know why. I'm forgetting what it is like to wake up in the mornings, and conversations that I would find important or funny. Maybe no one will notice if I pretend to not care.
    Just like I pretend to not care that I'm related to this demon that's causing us pain and suffering. I'm still attempting to process that, though. I know that I'm forgetting, but I still cannot believe that Cizen called us our daughters. None of us look related, so I couldn't have guessed this. Maybe he's lying. The only question though, who's the mother?
    Speaking of jokes, I accidentally made myself look like one a few nights ago. I remembered that Yang and I could connect by interaction with our hands. I had thought that maybe she would remember something if we did that, turns out I was wrong. There wasn't even a single arc, like last time. Even though it had hurt, we had made progress, shown by the arc.
    Yang told me that she had been seeing things, figures. I had told her that I also have been seeing things. Maybe now we're both going crazy and hallucinating. Whenever I wake up, I usually see them looking into the cell. They are looking at both of us, with emptiness in their eyes. I don't know who "them" is, they seem to be someone that I don't know. The person wears blue. Then, when I blink, or look away, and back at them, they're gone.
    I know they don't exist, so they don't bother me. I have also seen other things. I have seen a disfigured cat, and it was disturbing. I've seen both Garrett and David. I have seen both either me or Yang before. They just look at me, with no life in their eyes. Like if someone stole their skin, bones, muscles, hair, and clothes, to pretend like they were there.
    The dreams I have are even creepier. I can handle things (that don't even exist) looking at me; but when you dream, it's in front of you, and you can't look away. You cannot blink to make it do away.
    I don't like to remember my dreams. I want to forget them. They aren't real, and they don't do me any good. It's better to keep it like that, so I don't have to know what happened in my mind.
    The next morning, when the lights came on, and woke me up, Yang was there with Cizen. I was startled at first to see them both. She looked a lot better than how I saw her last time, but more tired than usual. Or maybe less confident. We were both given a meal.
    The meals that Cizen gives us are not as enjoyable as they were back home. They are still better than school lunches, though. Actually, maybe they weren't, I don't know anymore. I can't tell what Cizen gives us yet, though. It just looks like sludge.
    Yang hugs me as soon as the lasers open. "I'm sorry for scaring you."
    "It's... it's okay." I say. When Cizen leaves, I expand on what I mean.
    "You don't have to say sorry. It's not your fault that Cizen hurt you like that. It's also my fault that I couldn't heal you, I should be the one who's saying sorry."
    "No, you didn't have to heal me! I am a lot stronger than I look, that's what Cizen said. He... also said that he expected you to not be able to heal. Because of your-"
    "My condition, I know!" I blurt out and I immediately regret yelling at her. It's not her fault that I have to deal with it. "I'm sorry."
    "No, don't apologize."
    "I should. It's just... I was scared. We should eat now." I tried to change the subject. I don't want to feel like this.
    "Yeah, I'm starving."
    Later, I have to get another laser session. I follow Cizen. I look around, attempting to find anything hidden that I could use to escape.
    If I wanted all of these bad feelings to stop, I would have to escape. It's the only way. It's just the Cizen has seemed to have already been prepared, as again, I cannot find anything to use. Maybe the doors that are on the other side of the hallway would lead out of here. He never seems to open it though, and I cannot activate the door on my own.
    One day I hope to get answers from Cizen. It's not because I don't want to, but because I need to. If I want to escape and find out why he's doing this to us, then I need to know. If he's gonna pick piece by piece away from us, then I want to do it to him.
    "Why do me and Yang have to get lasers shot into our eyes?"
    "She's called One." He replies.
    "Sure, whatever. But why?"
    "You wouldn't understand."
    "Uh huh. That's what you always say. Why do you have to keep everything a secret from us?"
    "I have to." He replies. "Get on the chair."
    "This is an invasion of privacy, you know." I say, as he demands. "But I don't think you would care."
    He says nothing. I'm not surprised at all, he always does that. Talks, and just stops when I prove a point. He straps me in, and goes over to the panel, sits down in his special swivel chair, and starts pressing buttons.
    "You don't care about anything, just yourself."
    "You just realized?" He finally says back.
    "Oh, no, just wanted to emphasise. Like how you hurt Yang, or as you call her One, just to see if I could heal. And you knew that I would've failed."
    "Mmhm, okay then. But I just don't understand something. You are mean to us, but you let Yang have fun with the Rubix's cube and the memory game." I say.
    "One is more obedient than you."
    "True, but Yang has been hurt just as much as me by you, probably more than me even. That's what doesn't make sense. So... what is it?"
    "Be quiet." He demands.
    "Are you good and trying to help us, or are you evil and trying to slowly kill us?"
    "That's enough talking-"
    "Have you ever been through what we're going through, or is someone making you do this?"
    He pauses, and I hear him sigh. "Just look into the laser, we don't need another incident to happen." He concludes. I do as he says, I don't want my head blown off again. I promised Yang that I wouldn't, I don't want to betray her.

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