OVERLOOKED ㅤkotlc

041. When We Win

When we return to the dinner room, it's completely empty.

Tam glances at me. "That was weird," he says, and I can't bring myself to smile.

Rosaleen quietly watches the room. "They were prepared for that."

Tam looks at her. "What do you mean?"

"Gisela and Vespera didn't bother to wait for us. If something were to happen in there, we would've been 'taken care of' by the dwarves."

Her words give me chills. This place isn't as happy-go-lucky as it seems, apparently.

"We were fine, though," I say, hoping to sound convincing. "And... we're probably expected to go back to our rooms?"

Rosaleen nods. "I think so." She glances at me. "Are we hanging out again?"

I hesitate, then shake my head. "No," I say. "I think I need to talk to Tam, if that's okay?"

She smiles. "Of course. I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"See you," I say. She brushes past me, walking out of the long room.

And then it's just me and Tam. "I owe you an explanation," I say finally, not quite meeting his gaze.

A pause. "Not really," he says slowly. "I think I've figured out a bit."

I raise my eyebrows. "Have you?"

His shadow crosses mine. You're here to take down the Neverseen, and that girl—Rosaleen—is here to help you. Right? it asks.

For a second, I'm just surprised, but then I release a breath. "Right," I say.

"Yeah." He laughs. "I thought so."

Another long pause.

"How've you... been?" I finally ask. "Has everything been okay?"

Tam shrugs, making a so-so motion with his hand. "Let's head to my room," he says, already walking to the exit; I follow him.

We're both silent. I'm thinking about Kenric—I have no idea what Tam's thinking about.

He stops at the end of the hallway, and I do too. "My room's the last one on the bottom floor," he says, opening its door.

It looks like mine, except there's a cat statue on his desk.

I laugh a little—the statue's random, but it has a charm of its own. "What's that?"

He closes the door, glancing over. "What? Oh. That's—" Tam laughs. "That's from Glimmer."

"Oh, I see." I hesitantly sit on the armchair, and he sits on his bed, which shifts underneath his weight. "Um... so how are you?"

Tam sends me a wry smile. "I'm alright," he says. "I'm... is Linh okay?"

"Last I checked, she... she was doing okay, yeah. Marella's helping her a lot."

"Ah, that makes sense. I'm glad she's alright." Tam laughs. "By the time I get back, they'll probably be kissing or something."

I laugh. "I wouldn't put it past them," I say, half-joking.

There's another pause, and then Tam says, "But yeah, I've been doing okay. Shadowflux is just really draining, and Trix is training me and... he's not in his right mind."

I hesitate. "What do you mean?" The moment I say it, I wish I can take it back.

Umber died, that's what he means.

But Tam just shrugs. "You know, grief," he says, and I'm grateful he doesn't say it condescendingly. "Alvar sometimes comes by, and from what I've heard, he makes sure Trix takes his meds."

I release a breath. Alvar, Ruy, Melia, Trix... they all seem like real, humane people. It's unsettling, and it makes this so much harder.

"How about you?" Tam says, interrupting my train of thought. "Are you okay? You've seemed off these past few weeks."

My cheeks warm. "I-I'm okay. There was... There was an issue with Rosaleen, and that might be why? I don't know—it's okay now."

He nods. "I'm glad."

There's another long, awkward silence between us.

And then I blurt out, "What do you think of them?"

Tam tilts his head. "Who?"

"The Neverseen. Glimmer, Alvar, Trix, Jaelynn."

"Oh." He fidgets with his blanket, not meeting my gaze. "They're... They're okay," he says finally.

"What if something happens to them? What if we have to leave?" The thoughts I didn't know I had erupt from my lips. "What if we have to fight them? What if we betray them?"

There's another silence.

Tam's thinking this time, though.

I didn't even know these were concerns of mine. I guess I just buried them too deep.

"You can't... betray someone who's not on your side." Tam studies me, and I look away. "Dex, they're not our friends. They can't be, they're murderers."

"Yeah, but... they're still... they still have feelings," I say quietly. "They're real."

He frowns, but I don't think it's at me. "Maybe, but it'll just make this harder. Don't trust anyone. Don't make friends."

"Aren't you friends with Glimmer? Don't you wanna help Trix?"

Tam hesitates, then shakes his head. "No."

We both know it's a lie.

But we also know that denial's the best way to do this. This way, we'll be celebrating when the Black Swan wins. When we win.

I sigh. "Yeah, you're right."

He laughs a bit. "I am."

I roll my eyes, but a smile hides in my lips. A pause. "Wait, Tam?"

"Yeah?"

"Last time, at the dinner, you said there was gonna be an attack."

"Oh—yeah. It's gonna be at Foxfire."

"Foxf—why?"  

"They... They know who Magnate Leto is."

"Oh."

He shakes his head. "They're targeting him and the students. But since you're here, we're not losing this time."

I turn away, hiding my face, because for some reason, I'm not smiling at that. "Well, that's why I'm here," I say softly. That's why I'm here.

˚ ༘ 🌷 ── author's note!

how do you write tam how do you write tam how do you write tam how do you wri