I Hate You But I Love You

18.

A few days later when Nat got better Wanda was finally not hovering over her all the time anymore and Nat tried to subtly distance herself a bit from Wanda again. Not too much for her to really notice, like last time when she was full on avoiding her, but hopefully enough to get over her somehow. That plan however was ruined when they had their monthly movie night with the rest of the team. Natasha was making popcorn in the kitchen while the others were arguing in about what movie to watch first. When she stepped into the living room the only seat available was her usual spot next to Wanda on one of the sofas. Why had she volunteered to make the popcorn again? Oh right to avoid talking to Wanda. Well that plan backfired. She could've slapped herself. But she had no choice and moved to give two large bowls of popcorn to the others and kept the smaller one for her and Wanda when she sat down next to her.

Actually everything was fine until Wanda decided to put her head on Natashas shoulder like she always did during a movie night. Nat couldn't just tell her to take her head off her shoulder because she had no explanation as to why it was a problem. Wanda always did that. She just was a cuddly person and until now Nat had never voiced any kind of discomfort when she did that. So she just chose to ignore it. About half an hour into the second movie they both reached into their popcorn bowl and their fingers touched. Natasha quickly jerked her hand away. Wanda raised an eyebrow at that but said nothing. Instead she cuddled herself even closer to Nat. She draped an arm over Nat's waist and nuzzled her face into her neck. She was tired. Nat could tell because Wanda did that every time she got tired during a movie night. Usually that was between the middle of the second and the ending of the fourth movie. They were touching everywhere and she could feel Wanda's breath on her neck. Her heart started to race and she could feel the warmth spreading from the places Wanda was touching her. It was pure torture. She tried to ignore it but it was impossible. All she could think about was how close Wanda was and how bad she wished she could just kiss her. So she quickly stood up. Wanda looked at her obviously waiting for an explanation for her standing up so abruptly without a warning.

"You know guys, I don't really like that movie and I'm really tired so I'm just gonna head to bed." She said faking a yawn. That somehow seemed to become her go to excuse for everything. She couldn't have thought of anything better could she? Still everyone seemed to buy it and wished her a good night. A few minutes after she left the room Wanda decided to go after Nat and talk to her. Of course she had noticed that Nat started to distance herself again, even if it was just a little. And of course she knew that Nat was lying when she said she was tired. Somehow she had started to use that excuse for everything. She was surprised the others still bought it. She knew that Nat probably wouldn't let her in if she knocked, pretending to be asleep to sell her lie, so she didn't. Her head shot up from the she book she had been reading as Wanda opened the door.

"I thought you were tired and wanted to sleep." Wanda said accusingly. "Okay I'm not really tired that's true but that movie wasn't that good." Nat said nervously. Of course she wouldn't have bought that lie. "Star Wars? The movie that is and I quote: 'a cinematic masterpiece'? Cut the crap. You love that movie and you were certainly not tired." Wanda said crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Are you here to judge me for lying? If so then leave please. I'm not in the mood for this." Nat said defensively. "No I'm not here to judge you for lying. I just want to know why you're lying." Wanda said. "I don't see why that is any of your business." Nat answered. "Are you for real right now? We're best friends. We tell each other things. And clearly you're still upset by something I did or you wouldn't be all defensive about lying to me. Or you wouldn't even be lying to me in the first place. So as I said cut the crap and tell me what's wrong." Wanda said. "Just leave me alone Wanda." Nat said coldly and stood up to walk the brunette to the door. "No. What's up with you? What did I do that you can't even talk to me anymore." Wanda asked. Nat looked at her confused. "What do you mean?" She asked.

"You think I didn't notice that you're distancing yourself from me again. Since I told everyone about Vision and me you've been acting all weird. We've been through all kind of ups and downs in the past weeks. First we're best friends and then from one day to the other you just ignore me without any kind of explanation. We talk, we get better and then everything starts all over again. Every time I try to come closer to you again you distance yourself even more. You're always keeping me at an arm length and I'm sick of it. I just told you that we can't keep going on like this and I actually thought we were through this bullshit but then you start to distance yourself again. Do you think I wouldn't notice? And don't you dare say you didn't. I'm not stupid Natasha." Wanda said getting angry.

"Wanda just leave okay?" Nat said pleadingly. "No I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong! I don't know what I did to upset you. We are best friends so just tell me what's wrong so we can fix this!" Wanda almost yelled. She was desperately trying to get an answer out of  Nat. It hurt her that their friendship was struggling. And she didn't even know why. She couldn't remember doing anything to upset her best friend. "Wanda just leave me alone. Please." Nat almost begged. She turned around so that Wanda wouldn't see the tears that had been threatening to spill throughout their conversation and were now running down her cheeks. "No! Talk to me! Tell me what I did. We can fix this. I know we can! And would you fucking look at me when we're talking!" Wanda said her voice now dripping with anger. So Natasha did as she asked and turned around again. But what Wanda saw when Natasha turned around shocked her. Her eyes were red and tears were streaming down her face. Nat never cried. Something had to be terribly wrong. Her gaze immediately softened and she felt incredibly guilty to have brought her to tears. "Oh my god Nat. I'm sorry. Just please... tell me what's wrong. I just want to fix this." Wanda said softly.

"I love you!" Nat yelled. Wanda's eyes went wide and her breath catchend in her throat. She hadn't expected that outburst. Nat loved her? Natasha freaking Romanoff loved her? "You...what?" Wanda asked. "I love you, okay? And you love Vision. I get that. So I tried to avoid you to get over you by keeping my distance but you made me go completely crazy out there." She whispered weakly. Wanda didn't know what to say. "You got what you wanted. I told you why I was distancing myself so can you please leave now?" Nat asked. She sounded defeated. "Wait! You really... you really love me? This is no joke?" Wanda asked. "Does this look like a joke to you? Look I know you don't feel the same and I accept that..." Nat said. Wanda shook her head. Within seconds she stepped closer to Nat and pulled her in for a kiss. Nat froze for a second before she realized what happened. Wanda was kissing her! So she awoke from her trance and eagerly kissed her back.

When they parted Nat looked at Wanda confused. What just happened? "Okay the real reason I'm dating Vision is that I thought I couldn't have you. I thought that the great Natasha Romanoff could never love someone like me. And Vision was just there. He told me he liked me and asked me to be his girlfriend. So I said yes. And I know that is totally wrong but I thought that I could learn to love him because I could never have you. I know that doesn't make it better and I probably should've told you but I was scared. We just became so good friends after you hated me and I hadn't made a friend in years. I didn't want to ruin our friendship. But I love you, too." Wanda admitted. "You mean that?" Nat whispered hope glistening in her eyes as she looked up at Wanda. "Yeah I do." Wanda whispered back. She cupped Natasha's face and pulled her in for another kiss. "So you're breaking up with Vision?" Nat asked as they parted. Wanda chuckled. "Yeah I'll talk to him tomorrow." She answered. "Will you stay with me tonight?" Nat pleaded. Wanda nodded and kissed her again. Nat smiled at her brightly. And after a few more kisses they went to bed.

I did it! They had their first kiss. I actually thought about ending the chapter after the "I love you" with a major cliffhanger but I thought that would've been too cruel. Anyways I hope you like this chapter☺️