With Your Love

10: Wanna hear you say my name

“I’m home!” I called out yet no one answered. I poured myself a glass of soya milk before heading to my room. When I passed by my mom’s room, I noticed that the door was slightly open. Weird. She never leaves her door hanging open.

I reached for the doorknob and the glass of soya slipped from my grip. I pushed the door open and placed my two fingers on mom’s wrist. There was still a pulse.

I fished my pocket for my phone and dialed 911.

“911 Emergency how may I help you?”

“Help! It’s my mom, she’s unconscious right now I… I…” there. I saw the partially empty bottle of Trazodone.

“Hello?” “She, she… help! Please”

“We already have an ambulance coming to you right now, please calm down and wait for the paramedics’ arrival” then the line went dead.

Waiting was agonizing. I would hop from one bench to the other.

“Kelsey, thank god. Is mom fine?” I knew it was Luke but because of the coward I am, I still can’t bring myself to talk to him.

“Can we just forget what we have between us for a minute and focus on mom?” Luke grabbed my arm.

“Sure, whatever” I replied.

“What happened?”He took the seat beside me and wrapped his arms around my shoulder.

“I saw it…” I mumbled. “Saw what?” “She gulped down half a bottle of pills, Luke. Can she even survive?”

“Don’t say that, Kels. Mom’s a fighter. She can do it” I faced him. “If she’s a fighter, then why did she attempt death?” Luke said nothing. And that went on for three hours.

After what felt like eternity, a doctor with glasses who looked like he was around 30 approached us. Luke helped up since I was already too weak to stand up.

“Your mom’s in the ICU right now” I felt Luke stiffen, “but she’s fine. You may now visit her if you’d like”

“Thanks” Luke said and after giving us a small smile, he walked away. Luke tugged on my arm but I remained still on my spot. “Let’s go Kels, you heard him”. I nodded and started walking. I was afraid though, would she still look the same. Psh, of course she will. But will she regret living, or will she attempt doing it again?

Luke opened the door, “Hey Mom”.

Mom didn’t look different but the scene I was looking at was terrifying. Tubes were around her, even in her mouth. I buried my face in Luke’s shoulder and started sobbing. Luke started rubbing my back to soothe me, and it actually worked. I was even to let go of this weight temporarily.

His back was facing me, but I could already make out some of his features. His hair was this perfect, toned type of blonde and it was like his back was perfectly sculptured.

“Kelsey, wake up” someone was shaking me. I think I may have heard that voice somewhere before. Ah, Luke.

“Yeah?” I said getting up from Luke’s lap.

“Why don’t you go home and I’ll take care of mom for the night? Seems like you need to rest, and besides, mom’s going home tomorrow” he said, his gaze on mom’s bed.

“Luke, look, I’m sorry okay. I was selfish and conceited. I hope we can go back to normal. Especially because mom needs our support right now and this thing between us won’t help” I said. Luke nodded and said, “I’d like that. Should I head you out?” I shook my head and went out of the door, hoping that everything will be okay.

Going home to an empty house felt uncomfortable. Adding the darkness, it was like a scene from Paranormal Activity 4. Yeah, that movie was lame, but the amount of silence made that shit scary.

“Yellow?” at least someone can still make me giggle.

“Hey, wanna come over?” I asked.

“Have my prayers been finally answered? Is the Kelsey Carson trying to hook up with me?” Brett could be really crazy at times, but I knew he was just kidding, even though it’s a stated fact that he’s slept with half of the female estrogen in school.

I laughed at his wackiness, “You know it”.

“Oh guess what, I’m already here. Let’s get on with this ba- fuck!” he clutched his stomach, which I just punched, “at least the ‘fuck’ was accurate” he smiled sheepishly, but it vanished as soon as he saw my face.

“Let’s go to my room” I suggested.

After I relayed to him what happened this afternoon, he did what he was always good at, comforting me and turning my frown upside down. And he did it by watching Big Bang Theory with me whilst eating vanilla ice cream.

“Is it okay if I sleep over? Mom said it’s too late for me to walk home” Brett said, looking up from his phone.

“Sure, you can sleep outside” the look of horror on his face was amusing and it was soon replaced by a mischievous grin.

“Be polite to your guest, Carson” he said and dashed to the stairs.

“Okay, I’ve been waiting for this moment” Brett took off his shirt and sweatpants and joined me in bed. I gave him a knowing look and he held up his hands in surrender. He wrapped his arm around my waist and it actually felt nice. Even his warm breath that hit my neck felt good. I felt safe.

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