XXX.
k n o c k k n o c k , b i t c h ,
i t ' s s e p t i c s h o c k
—EVERYONE WAS IN the living room. They sat listlessly huddled together. Five was nowhere to be seen, and neither were Zara nor her parrot. Learning of the apocalypse from Luther was not a very nice way to begin the afternoon.
When Grace brought in the tea-tray, they all jumped. She said: "Would you like me to draw the curtains, dears? It would make it more cheerful in here."
Receiving an assent to this, the curtains were drawn and the lamps turned on. The room grew more cheerful. A little of the shadow lifted. Surely, by tomorrow, Five would be back. If the world was ending, he would know what to do . . .
"Will you pour out the tea, Mom?" asked Allison.
"No, you do it, dear," the blond woman replied. "The teapot is so heavy. And I have lost two skeins of my knitting wool. I must go and find it all."
Allison moved to the bar. There was a pleasant rattle and clink of china. Normality returned.
Tea, even if it seemed a little British for their liking, was just tea. Ordinary, everyday, afternoon tea! Klaus made a cheery remark. Allison responded. Luther told some humorous story about the moon. Diego, who ordinarily hated tea, sipped approvingly.
If Luther was telling the truth, their days were numbered. They all had to go, they all had places to be and matters to wrap up, but for now, there was only tea.
Into this relaxed atmosphere came a sharp noise.
It was quiet at first, a soft whooshing, and then it grew louder, then still louder. Blue light flashed over the bar, spinning and whirling manically. The vortex spat out two figures and dropped them onto the bartop, one on top of the other.
"Ow!" wheezed one of them, and when the light cleared, they recognized it to be Five. "There goes my ability to ever have children."
Klaus leaned forward. "You guys, am I high, or do you see them too?"
"Oh God," groaned Zara, having fallen on Five in a very compromising position that she either didn't register or care about. "I think I have a concussion. Where's Kiki?"
"I have no idea," hissed Five, "but if you could move your knee somewhere that's preferably not between my legs, I would really appreciate it."
"Oh, right. Sorry 'bout that."
She climbed unsteadily off the bartop, holding a black briefcase and rubbing her bruised forehead. It was clear that Five had taken the brunt of the fall (a running theme in his life).
"Are you guys alright?" exclaimed Allison, brushing ash off Zara's face with a handkerchief and making her sneeze.
"Five, where have you been?" demanded Luther. "Who did this?"
"Irrelevant," Five replied curtly, stumbling to the front of the room. He plucked a coffee cup out of Allison's hand. "So the apocalypse is in three days. The only chance to save our world is, well, us."
