the beautiful and damned - h.s.

twenty- three

"every now and then the stars align, boy and girl and meet by the great design, could it be that you and me are the lucky ones?"
- lucky ones, lana del rey

𝐉𝐎𝐘𝐂𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐍𝐒

It didn't take long for everyone to eventually migrated outside to the backyard.

I had to admit, the alcohol was really getting to me now. I mean, I knew I was really drunk but I felt like I was going to either throw up, pass out, or do both.

I think Nellie noticed because she was quick to hand me a bottle of water and pull me next to her as we sat around a small ongoing fire outside. Harry was nowhere to be found, he disappeared pretty quickly after we crushed the game of beer pong. My mind couldn't help but wonder where he was now.

Even drunk he was all I thought about. My brain was pretty jumbled up but I was still mostly aware of what I was doing and saying. I said mostly because Nellie informed me that I was grinding on Harry while the Weeknd played in the background. I had no recollection of doing so and the thing was...sober Joyce would definitely be embarrassed, crawl into a little hobbit hole and not come out for a minimum of three months.

But drunk Joyce couldn't find it in me to care.

An hour passed by and I was sobered up just a little bit, the water that Nellie had given me was helping more than I thought. Slowly, the urge to throw up was going away but I still felt like my eyes were going to give out and shut on me any moment.

"Joy, you look ready to pass the fuck out...the gins finally getting to you?" Nellie joked as she leaned into my side and squeezed my upper arm, "One of the guest rooms should be free...don't forget to lock the door once you find one" she said.

I nodded, not necessarily in the mood to even stand up but my legs felt like jello with how long we had been sitting around the fire. My friends bid me goodnight, Alex even offered to come up to the guest room with me to make sure I got there with no issues, but I denied, mostly because I knew the house inside and out, even while drunk.

I reluctantly stood up, my legs wobbling slightly the second I did so. I made sure to grab my water before I pulled open the back door of the house. There weren't nearly as many people in the house like before...most of them probably have gone in the backyard. Still, the house was relatively empty with a few groups of people hanging around. I spotted a few people passed out on the floor, the couch, even the stairs as I walked up to the guest bedroom.

I headed straight towards the guest room that I always used when I stayed here, not bothering to knock on the door and pulled it straight open instead.

What I was not expecting was to be met with the sight of two men eating each other's faces off. The second the two guys heard the door open, they jumped apart and again, I was certainly not expecting to see Harry on the receiving end.

"Fuck I'm so s-sorry-" I stuttered out, embarrassed that I had walked in on them and somewhat jealous that it wasn't me.

Great, now I most definitely wouldn't have a chance with him.

I was pulling the door back shut but before I had the chance to, Harry's voice made me stop in my spot, "Hang on, Joyce wait,"

I shook my head, "No, no- you guys can get back to um yeah..." I cleared my throat, "I'll be leaving," I said, again shutting the door wanting to go bury myself in bed so I could stop thinking about what just happened. Instead, someone hand grasped the door before I had the chance to shut it completely. I recognized it as Harry's, due to the small cross tattoo that I saw on his hand.