𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐑 » 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐬

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲-𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 :

The past week has gone awfully slow, consisting of long lectures and a tonne of time spent studying. Routine has made a return, making me less fun, as the only things my day-to-day life consists of, are socio/political philosophies and thoughts of Chris, who pop into my head every single day, without a doubt.

Although Ally and I had plans to visit our families this weekend, we did no such thing, seen as we both underestimated the amount of University work we had to complete. Thankfully, I hadn't messaged my mom to let her know that we would be going, otherwise she would be disappointed, so we agreed we would visit them soon. Hopefully before Christmas or Halloween.

After Ally and I left Hemsworth's house, last Thursday, we haven't really done much. Our only outing is when we leave our cosy, little apartment to attend those incredibly long Sociology lectures, which are always the highlight of my day since I get to see his beautiful face and secretly steal a few kisses, after everyone else has left. It honestly feels like we're a couple of teenagers trying not to get caught. It's quite romantic, actually. Although, I would love to see more of him. I would love to spend more time with him. Things have been hard, considering Chris has a tremendously busy schedule and more important things to do, but I'm doing my best to keep him entertained and interested in me.

I don't want that one to get away anytime soon.

However, I have absolutely no complaints. Even though he has a busy routine, he still finds time to send me adorable and sometimes not-so-innocent texts throughout the day. My heart flutters every time he adds those little hearts next to his messages, or when he calls me those sweet names I like so much. My face lights up with happiness just at the thought of him, making me realise that this may be more than a silly crush and more than just a 'one time thing' but, this feeling may only be one-sided.

Despite the fact that Chris is very kind and sweet to me, I feel clueless as to whether he actually feels something towards me or not. I don't expect love from him, or some kind of dedication. Absolutely not. These are still very early days for such strong vows and feelings. However, I do expect some sort of reassurance from him. For all I know, he could have some other woman in his life, who is equally as into him as I am. She may be more suitable for him, closer to his age, with similar interests or even similar needs. I don't even know if I have any competition. Also, should I be worried about the potential competition or not? It all feels so confusing at the moment. I always doubt so many things about myself, when it comes to him. The main one being my age. The age gap between us is quite wide after all, it makes me wonder if something will actually come out of this. If anything will come out of us at all.

I instantly suppress those thoughts and push them at the very back of my head. I tend to overthink certain situations and my situation-ship with Chris happens to be one of them. For the time being, I am going to make sure to enjoy every little moment spent with him and if this leads to something more, I'd be more than happy to explore that option, with him. If not, at least I know I have probably had the best sex of my life, already.

It's a win-win situation.

'Ally, where the fuck have all my bikinis gone?' I practically scream at my blonde, best friend, as I'm frantically looking through my white draws.

Given as it's a Thursday afternoon, Ally and I are currently in the middle of packing, seen as we both agreed to attend the conference in New Jersey this weekend. Truthfully, if Chris wasn't attending, there's a slight chance that I wouldn't be going but since he is, here I am, packing my little suitcase while my mind is running through every possible scenario that could occur this weekend. Waves of excitement and anxiety flow through my body, just at the thought of Chris and I potentially being alone in a hotel room. Actually, potentially being alone, anywhere. I will truly count myself lucky if I manage to spend time with him this weekend, just like he promised me.